How A Baby Changes Husband-Wife Relationship

At some point in their marriage, most couples wish to have babies. It seems like a logical step for them to take their bonding to the next level. However, before you start planning a baby, make sure you have thought through about the changes a baby will bring to your life. Yes, a baby does change the dynamics of the husband-wife equation for the good as well as worse. Here, we break it down into the good and the not-so-good changes that a baby brings in a husband-wife relationship:

In This Article

The Good

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Marriage is not a bed of roses for anyone. Especially in an arranged marriage where people belonging to two different environments end up living together. Most couples find it hard to cope with each other’s different lifestyles in the beginning. Thus, some amount of quarrels and frictions are anything but normal in this scenario. So, when you know you’re going to have a baby, it gives the much-needed break for the two of you. Instead of focusing on each other’s flaws, you both will end up working together toward a common goal – your baby’s well-being. Not to forget the innumerable moments of joy and cheer that your baby brings. You’ll laugh together. Worry together. And when your baby achieves those growth milestones, you’ll even celebrate together.

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Quite often, new parents also make quick amends when they have minor differences for the sake of the baby. They may even refrain from quarreling or arguing over silly reasons. As the baby grows, a couple becomes aware of the influence they have on their child. This might make them be at their best behavior most of the time. Or at least in front of the child.

By the time a couple starts shouldering their respective responsibilities and take major decisions for their child, they would have already developed an understanding among themselves. They would have also started respecting each other’s views and opinions, making their bond stronger.

And The Not-So-Good

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On one hand, the arrival of a baby might be anything but a happy addition to their family. But on the other hand, a baby can become a bone of contention too. If a couple is at a stage where they were still exploring their relationship emotionally and physically, the presence of a baby can potentially drive them apart. The physical separation that comes during the postpartum phase can take a toll on their love life.

Of course, there is also the problem of who gets attention over whom. Quite understandably, couples end up paying more attention to the baby’s needs over each other’s. This can become quite frustrating for either one or both of them. A couple might also not indulge in those occasional displays of affection like hugging and kissing since most of it might get directed toward the baby.

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The improper division of a baby’s responsibilities can be another reason for marital discord between a married couple. It is quite daunting for a new mother to take care of a baby all by herself, especially during the first few months after delivery. In the absence of social support, a new mother would look up to her husband to give her a helping hand with the baby duties once in a while. However, if the husband does not believe in the idea of sharing such responsibilities, then it could lead to disharmony at home.

And then, there comes the question of who should be the decision-maker when it comes to the child – the mother or the father. If a couple is not on the same page with this, then this could lead to quite a few quarrels at home.

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Having a baby or not and at what stage of their marriage is entirely a couple’s personal decision. If a couple has mutual understanding, love and respect in their relationship, a new addition in their lives will only make their bond stronger. So, it makes good sense to set right any issues in your relationship before planning a baby. And let not a few hurdles scare you from living one of the best feelings in the world – of becoming parents!

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