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As parents, we have a lot to contend with. There are the random questions, the constant calls for attention and of course, the tantrums. Sometimes when your child is being difficult it’s just easy to promise that you’ll come back to the park next week, buy them the toy next time or talk to them in an hour. Most of the time it even works. But going back on a promise you made or making one without the intention of following through with it is just as bad as lying, if not worse. And it can have a lot of negative long-term effects. The truth is that your children trust you and you mean the world to them, so when you let them down it hits them very hard. A simple broken promise made in a hurry may not mean anything to us but to your children, it signals that you don’t really care about their wants, needs and interests. Which we are sure is furthest from the truth. In this article we’ll explore some of the negative effects of breaking promises and how to avoid doing so.
1. Your Kids May Start Thinking Of You As A Liar
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Every parent imparts the importance of honesty, integrity, and keeping one’s word to their children. This is why your kids feel deeply disappointed and upset when you don’t follow these principles. When you make a promise to your child and consistently fail to fulfill it, in a way, you are “breaking your word,” and your children will not take this lightly. We all recall how it felt the last time someone broke a promise to us – it hurt. Now, imagine a feeling many times more profound, which is precisely what your kids may experience when they’re let down by the most significant individuals in their lives. As the people your kids trust the most, it’s essential to maintain that trust, and therefore, it’s best to seek alternative strategies for handling tantrums, rather than resorting to dishonesty.
2. They Think They Don’t Matter To You
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The last thing you’d want to do is hurt your child’s feelings by breaking a promise. Usually parents just assume that their kid has forgotten about the promise they made to them as they are always occupied by something or the other. But this isn’t necessarily the case. But when you constantly put what’s important to your child on the bottom of an invisible list only to eventually forget about them, your kids will get the idea that they don’t matter to you as you show no interest in the things they care about. Relationships require effort and hard work, even when it’s with your own kids, especially then. So when you keep your promises no matter what it takes, you become a good role model to your kids and they will follow your good example.
3. They May Break Their Own Promises
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If you fail to honor the trust your children place in you, they might not hesitate to break their own promises. Parents serve as role models for their children, and when they consistently break their commitments, kids may consider adopting this behavior pattern. It’s vital to remember that children primarily learn through observation. If they repeatedly witness you engaging in a particular behavior, they are likely to imitate it. This could lead them to think, “If mom and dad don’t keep their word, why should I?” And, in truth, they wouldn’t be unjustified in their thinking. No parent wishes for their child to grow up to be someone who doesn’t uphold their promises. Therefore, it’s important to recognize that when you treat your promises too casually, you may inadvertently encourage your children to do the same.
4. They May Lose Trust And Respect For You
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Fulfilling your promises and following through with your commitments helps forge a strong bond of trust between you and your child. However, the moment you break a promise, you put that trust at risk. When trust is betrayed, children may no longer feel secure in your presence. They might experience a sense of betrayal and confusion, especially if they are too young to fully grasp the concept of making and keeping promises. Over time, this breach of trust may lead to a loss of respect for you and your word, as they learn not to take your statements seriously. They will observe that your promises lack corresponding actions, making it challenging for them to place value on your words.
Raising kids can be challenging, especially when they choose to be difficult. But making a promise and then breaking it is not the way to solve short term problems. Learn instead to communicate with your child efficiently so that you develop a deeper bond with them.
