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Before my pregnancy, I often weighed out the pros and cons of being pregnant and what my life would be like after having kids. While I sat by my window reading my favorite book, I paused to look outside and saw a bird feeding its young one a few grains it picked up from my neighbor’s terrace. It got me thinking about what my future would look like with and without kids. The night out with my friends, the weekend getaways, and sleeping late during weekends would be replaced by long sleepless nights, feeding, backache, sore feet, and a cranky, hungry baby. But the simple joys of hugging my squishy baby, dressing them up, listening to the sweet baby talk, and watching them smile, are things that cannot be measured.
As I thought about the different things I’d have to sacrifice, I was reminded of the numerous things I’ll gain when I have kids. The stretch marks, dark circles, body ache, and out of shape body became irrelevant the minute I held my little one in my arms. How beautiful is it that my entire body transforms to accommodate another life? It overwhelmed me when I realized that I created a life inside me. My organs, blood, and cells nourished this tiny life until it became big enough to come out into the world. It took me a while to fully understand it and even longer for it to completely hit me. Us women are magical!
As my family grew from one child to the next, my concerns revolved around my kids. My career, fitness journey, looks, and physique were all secondary. My primary concern was my kids’ comfort. The location where we were living in had to be at a comfortable distance from their schools, piano, and dance lessons. My husband and I made sure that we were surrounded by good neighbors who set an excellent example for our kids. We stayed away from the neighborhood deemed unsafe, and these were my main worries.
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Women who are younger than me often ask me how it is to have children. It usually stems from curiosity, but I can see the fright in their eyes when they ask me that question. Some women believe that their lives are over, and their dreams and ambitions have to be thrown down the chimney once there are kids in our lives. But that is not necessarily true. When I am asked how my life has changed after having kids, it frightens me because I know that my answer might influence their decision to choose a future with children.
From my experience, I know that every woman’s experience with motherhood is different. It does not translate the same way even though the processes are the same. But it’s up to every woman and how they embrace this magical journey. Let me be honest; it involves a lot of sacrifices, patience, and dedication. It is not a comfortable journey and cannot be taken for granted. Therefore, if it were up to me, I would advise every young couple out there who are confused about taking this next step to wait. Wait until they are ready for this massive commitment because there is no backing out once you’re in.
It’s a huge responsibility. You are not only bringing a life into this world but are also responsible for its safety and well being. You have to inculcate good values in them to grow up to be responsible adults who are a blessing to society.
I did not realize how much I would have to give up after having kids, but what I discovered blew my mind. It might involve many sacrifices to be a parent, but the life lessons and skills you pick up by raising a child cannot be compensated with anything else, and for that, I’ll always be grateful!
