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I’ve never been a person who liked being the center of attention because I’m shy. My husband often pulled my legs for it, and everyone who knows me well knows this about me. But when I became pregnant, the amount of attention I received was just overwhelming. It took me a while to get used to it, but I did. Those nine months were filled with attention and love in every way from everyone I ever met. People would shower me with love, gifts, food, sweets, and pamper me to a point where I started to get used to it. Nine months is a long time, and without even trying, the attention became a part of my life.
After my baby’s birth, it was a different story. My daughter, Zoey, was born after nine months, and she was as cute as a button. Naturally, she stole the show and became the center of attention in every room. I hate to admit it, but she stole my thunder. Hold on, before you judge me for feeling this way, let me tell you that I didn’t want to, but I had gotten so used to being showered with the attention that it all felt odd to me.
We’ve often heard that once you have a baby, your needs take a backseat. I thought I was prepared for it. Things like losing my sleep and regular showers, and not having the time to clean a messy house were things I had anticipated. However, what I didn’t foresee was that most people, most of the time, were way more interested in my baby than me. It’s embarrassing to admit that I struggled with it, but it was hard to deal with, especially after being in the limelight during my pregnancy.
Every visitor who walked in through my front door walked straight to Zoey. They spent the entire time with her, enquiring about how she’s doing and if she’s sleeping, feeding, and resting. Sometimes, it felt like I was invisible to them, and I wanted to scream, saying, “Hellooooo, what about me?” but of course, I didn’t.
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I couldn’t help but wonder, “Was I really jealous of my daughter?”. What kind of a mother feels jealous of the attention that their baby gets? But the more I felt that way, the more I realized that I was lucky that my daughter was adored so much by everyone. It’s not that I didn’t want Zoey to be the center of attention, but I wanted to be acknowledged. After all, I had gone through labor and was still in recovery. But I continued to feel neglected.
It was disappointing and shocking that no one asked me how I was doing, how I was feeling, and how I was coping with postpartum. My days and nights revolved around my baby, making sure she is well-fed, rested, clean and happy. I missed moments with my family because I was taking care of my baby. When we would have friends over, and the conversations were fun, I had to leave in between to breastfeed Zoey. I know it’s a part of motherhood, but I wish someone told me that it’s okay to be upset about it.
I felt alone because I wasn’t sure who I’d share these thoughts with. It made me feel like a bad mother, and I felt guilty about it. It’s only natural that a mother gives up fun experiences for her little one, right? Moms are supposed to be selfless, and as much as I loved my baby, it wasn’t an easy transition for me.
I wanted to hang out and talk about anything but the baby. And dear moms, let me tell you what no one told me — it’s okay. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable with the transition and it’s okay to take time to adjust to the change. That doesn’t make you selfish, and it definitely doesn’t make you a bad mom. With time things changed. I love being a mom, and Zoey is the center of my world. Give yourself some time and love yourself during the transition, and you will too.
