A classic stereotype which exists across all societies is that mothers-in-law can be intolerable. It is a cliché which is portrayed even in movies and TV shows all the time. However, it is not always true.
Yes, you can be as different from your mother-in-law (MIL) as chalk and cheese. If you both were ever offered a list of 10 items to choose from, chances are you both might end up selecting the most diametrically opposite things. Not that either of the choices is bad, but they are just different. However, the one common ground between you two that no one can deny is that you both deeply love the same person (your husband).
There are many to-do lists for a MIL out on the web. But here, we bring you a list of things that you can keep in mind to be in your mother-in-law’s good books.
1. Be Honest
Please don’t tell your MIL that she is always welcome at your place when you mean otherwise. She understands too that arriving unannounced can be rude, and if she doesn’t, she will understand eventually. However, if you insist on telling your MIL that she doesn’t need to make appointments, she will obviously come. After all, it’s where her child and grandchildren live. Don’t be angry then!
2. Answer Her Calls
More often than not, your MIL calls you only to get an update on how things are going at home. She is only concerned about her child and grandchildren and wants to ensure they are doing well. So, give her that respect by picking up the phone. Even if it’s only to inform that you’re busy and will call her back later.
3. She Also Has A Life Of Her Own
Yes, your MIL does love your toddlers. But like you, she also has a life of her own. So, you can’t always expect her to be at your beck and call each time you are stepping out. Mostly, she will be delighted to have her grandkids come home. But, it is always better to inform her beforehand, so that she can plan accordingly.
4. Don’t Badmouth Her Behind Her Back
Those snarky, harmless remarks on your MIL will always find a way to her. Your MIL is mostly aware of what you say behind her back, more often than you would like to believe. So, let her know yourself if something really bothers you. Otherwise, let it go!
5. Passive-Aggressive Comments Can Also Hurt
Like the way you don’t appreciate being taunted by your MIL, she doesn’t either. You might think that covering up a snide remark with a compliment is not that rude. But, that is not true. The passive-aggressive remarks will hurt her just the same.
6. Not Everything Is A Competition
Your MIL keeping her house clean is not a reflection on your cleaning abilities. If your husband loves the food cooked by her, it is not because you aren’t cooking well. It is only because he has grown up eating that food. So, don’t let these little things get under your skin.
7. Let Her Do Things For Your Little Ones
Your MIL might pamper her grandchildren with lots of gifts on a frequent basis. Please don’t tell her that it is alright and she doesn’t need to. You might be doing that with best intentions in mind – not wanting her to go through the trouble. But, it might end up offending her. After all, she is doing that out of love.
8. She Is Not Judging You Always
Yes, she might judge you at times. She can’t help that, given her beloved son is now also your husband. But, she will also make an effort not to. Your MIL just loves her kid and grandchildren and wants to ensure their happiness. So, she might try to help you in the way she knows best. But, don’t take it as a judgment or a command, and let it affect you negatively.
We hope that this mostly-doable list will help in bringing you and your mother-in-law closer. Fingers crossed!