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How often have you heard this statement – “We are your parents; we know what’s good for you.” If you can hear your parent’s voices, this article is for you. Like it or not, parents are naturally protective and want the best for you. But the problem arises when the thin boundary between protective and overprotective is corroded by your parents. As a responsible son or daughter, you don’t want to break their heart, but you also want to set boundaries to get your breathing space in your life without feeling controlled. If you are dealing with overprotective parents who still see you as a little child and try to dictate your life, we have some tips to clarify things with your parents without hurting them. Read on!
1. Talk About Your Frustrations
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The first step of dealing with overprotective parents is having an open conversation about your problems. Decide on a good time and place to have the conversation where you won’t be interrupted. Pick a place that is convenient for both of your parents. Having a productive discussion requires an environment with few interruptions, so keep the phone and other distractions away. Once they are in for the talk, explain to them in the most polite way possible and explain to them calmly how their protective behavior is causing you trouble and what you would want from them in return.
2. Use “I” Statements
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No matter who you converse with, using ‘I’ instead of generalizing the statement gives more weightage to what you have to say. The same goes for conversations with your parents as well. For example, instead of saying, “You don’t let me go out with my friends,” say, “I would appreciate it if you would allow me to go out with my friends.” You can settle on the topic by bringing forth your condition and making it easier for your parents to agree. So, you can put them at ease by telling them you will be available on your phone at all times. Maybe share the contacts of your friends as well.
3. Communicate Your Needs And Wants
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Parents might be near super-beings, but they still lack telepathic abilities. So what do you think can’t be transferred to until you communicate effectively. Having a conversation helps to share what you want and need from your parents. Be it wanting your space, wanting more privacy, or wanting to make your own decisions in life without interference, it has to be communicated correctly and transparently.
4. Accept Your Parent’s Perspective
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Respect your parents’ viewpoints as much as possible. It’s irritating when parents are controlling and overprotective, but you can’t ignore their concerns. Consider their point of view if you want an open and fruitful discussion. Anxiety may cause a wide range of subjective sensations. If your parents express concern that a cold could develop into pneumonia, you should listen to them without judgment. Tell your parents you realize they’re worried about you and that you appreciate their concern.
5. Be Patient
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Be it on the choice of your career, clothing, or love life, sometimes, parents have an opinion on everything in and around you. And because they are your parents, dodging their comments and thoughts can be taxing. However, a little patience goes a long way. Instead of bursting out in frustration, take a deep breath and try to comprehend their side of the story. Maybe they are scared of drifting away from you or worried that you will make the wrong decision. Whatever it is, there is nothing a deep breath and conversation over coffee can’t solve.
6. Try To Find Their Motive
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All said and done, they are your parents, who selflessly bought you up and made you who you are. Even though parents can’t be perfect, they usually aim for the best life they can give their children. So regardless of the outcome, the intent is always good. For example, being asked by your parents to wear a sweater on your beautiful dress might make you angry, but instead of assuming that your parents want you to hide your dress, focus on why they are asking you to put on layers. Maybe it’s because they don’t want you to catch a cold? Then, you can assure them that your dress will protect you from the weather, or put on a sweater until you reach the place and leave the sweater in your car. This way, you can avoid conflict and also not feel controlled about your choice of clothes.
Parents will be parents; some of us must be Nemo and deal with parents like Marlin. However, the bottom line is they would swim across the ocean to save you if they had to, and nothing can change that. It can get annoying and suffocating sometimes, and you should explain the boundaries in a friendly way to your parents. That is how you can create an excellent relationship with your family without sacrificing your way of life.
