Research-backed
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“Boys will be boys”, they say. But honestly, they don’t have to be. They don’t have to fit into the trope of conventional masculinity and follow its problematic rules right down to the T. No, they can be raised to be better people, who can shun unnecessary acquired behaviors, rise above peer and social pressures and prove themselves to be good men.
Here are some tips on how you can raise your son so he grows up to the classic ‘great guy’:
1. Be Working Parents
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Not a difficult thing to pull off considering most couples swing a 9-5 daily anyway. But there’s a real benefit to it. Studies show that working mothers have a positive influence on their children (1). While girls of working moms grow up to be more successful, boys learn how to take responsibility for the house and be more caring individuals.
2. Encourage Your Boy To Express His Feelings
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Conventionally, it isn’t “manly” for a boy to express his feelings. He’s supposed to be a stoic keeping his feelings to himself. But research suggests that this kind of behavior can result in depression as well as the taking of high risk decisions (2). Hence, it’s crucial for boys to express their feelings and communicate — something you can help inculcate by talking to them.
3. Teach Him The Importance Of Chores
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According to research, couples who divide chores and other parenting tasks among them in an equal fashion are happier as compared to those who don’t (3). The atmosphere of happiness and mutually shared responsibilities will help your son pick up your responsible traits and show the importance of teamwork. It’ll also make them more self-reliant and remove any biases they may have regarding certain chores.
4. Teach Them About Respect And Boundaries
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Body autonomy is a concept you should introduce your son to way earlier in his life. Tell him that he has the right to decide who gets to touch him and who doesn’t and that others have this right too. When he grows up, explain to him what inappropriate behavior is and how he should not indulge in that. Studies show that teens who grow up in a positive home atmosphere are likely to be better at sorting relationship issues (4).
5. Get The “Tough Guy” Behavior Under Control
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Onscreen stereotypes teach boys that aggressive or violent behavior is cool and the best way to solve problems. However, this is bad behavior, which you can prevent him from inculcating by helping him communicate his complex emotions in a calm and caring environment. Having a good father figure channeling healthy masculinity can also help curb aggressiveness.
6. Help Him Develop Hygiene And Good Grooming
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From a young age itself, boys should be taught about the importance of good hygiene and grooming habits and how to practice them. Good hygiene promotes good health, while good grooming ensures they don’t face troubles later on in their job life or interpersonal relationships. Being prim and proper also sends out the message that he cares enough to put in effort to present himself well to the people he cares about.
7. Tell Him All About Consent
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If you’ve got teen boys to raise, there’s no point beating around the bush when it comes to teaching them consent. Let them know what construes an inappropriate advance, how to ask for as well as give permission and how multiple factors can influence the giving or denying of consent. Help them practice being straightforward without being rude or assertive and teach them how to graciously and respectfully accept rejection if it happens.
It’s tough molding and shaping a person in the right way, ensuring they have all the hallmarks of a good person. However, we hope these tips will help make the task a little bit easier. Share this article with parents who have sons and help them out!
