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Even when our mind says ‘no’, we often find ourselves blurting out ‘yes’ whenever we are in a tight spot. Why does it become so hard for us to say no? I know I can’t speak for all, but some of us have this excessive need to be agreeable even though it might put us in stress or resentment later.
Nobody likes the idea of rejection or disappointment. The thought of someone considering you as rude or unhelpful the minute you say no is probably the one factor driving us to say yes. Saying no can be a challenge for many, probably because of our lack of self-worth.
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However, learning to say ‘no’ can be one of the most empowering things. It can also help you foster better relations with everyone as you are free from the burden of pleasing everyone and can spend your energy on doing something you like.
We know the fear of being judged or rejected can be overpowering. Below, we list down ways to build your ability to say that one word:
Accept The Fact That You Can’t Do Everything
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Saying yes to everything can be exhausting and stressful. When you take on something half-heartedly, you are less likely to give it your best. It can also lead to feelings of resentment toward the other person. By saying no to things you don’t like, you will be building healthy and genuine relationships. You will also have more time for yourself by doing this.
Saying ‘No’ Doesn’t Make You A Bad Person
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Right from our childhood, we are taught saying no to be impolite or impudent. Saying yes was affable, and no was unbecoming. Hence, holding on to these beliefs, the fear of being considered selfish or impolite forces us to say yes. But once you acknowledge that ‘no’ doesn’t brand you as a bad person, you will be able to overcome whatever is holding you back from uttering that one simple word.
Lack of self-worth could also be another reason that makes it so hard for us to say no. You can’t live your life based on other people’s approval. By valuing their opinion of you more than yourself, you will never be truly happy as you are constantly dependent on other’s approval.
Identify Your Priorities
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Prioritizing can help you make decisions more effectively. If you feel trapped in between ‘yes’ or ‘no’, ask yourself where would you rather spend your energy on?
Prioritizing can help you save time and energy and free you from stress. Surprisingly, saying yes or no can also depend upon your ethics and morality. If your friend is stranded somewhere and asks you if you can pick them up, your priorities might shift, and you will say yes or no depending upon your ethical code.
Practice Saying ‘No’
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The best way to learn to say no is to practice. You will be presented with at least a few opportunities. Recognize those situations and learn to say no. Make sure you stick to it no matter how much the other person persuades you to say yes. Be assertive rather than coming off as hesitant. Start by practicing on more minor requests; this will help you follow through even when you grapple with challenging situations.
Remember, you can never please everybody. Even if you do, it will be at your own cost of feeling stressed and tired. Once you achieve the ability to say no when you really mean no, you will feel more in control. It might take some time for you to get there, but the only way is via practice and by reminding yourself that your self-worth doesn’t depend on anyone else.
