Research-backed
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If you’re a parent who has a daughter and a son, you probably do not realize that you speak to the two of them differently. But if you take a step back and observe how you talk to your kids, you will probably see a clear-cut difference. Parents often speak to their daughters with a sweeter voice than they do with their sons. Especially when it comes to the father-daughter dynamic, studies have shown that fathers treat their daughters with a lot more love and care than they do with their sons (1).
It was observed that fathers engage with their daughters more attentively. They sing to them, smile more, and use analytic languages to express their emotions. They do not hold back with sadness or happiness. It was also seen that they had a stronger neural response to their daughter’s happy facial expressions. However, it was observed that parents engaged in a contrary manner with their sons. They followed a more rough narrative which involved tumble play and achievement language. These observations indicate that parental behaviors differ based on the gender of the child (2).
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While these things may come as a shock to you, it’s time to accept the way parents have been talking or treating their sons. So, what can you do to speak to your sons in a way that doesn’t hurt them? Scroll below to find out some tips that might help you:
- Make Use Of Kinder Words
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Have you noticed that you probably don’t hold back from using possibly damaging words like dumb, stupid, arrogant, stubborn, etc., when you speak to your son? These words might have a permanent impact on your child’s mind and may impair their emotional development. Make a conscious switch and avoid using these words. Instead, talk to them using kinder words that encourage them to do better.
- Speak To Them In A Lower Decibel
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If you haven’t already realized, you probably speak to your sons in a higher decibel than you do with your daughters. Avoid doing this because it sets the tone (quite literally) for them to speak loudly and possibly raise their voices when they talk. It’s natural and almost uncontrollable to go up several decibels when you’re angry, but try to calm down and bring up the issue at hand with a mature approach.
- Tell Them It’s Okay
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As a society, we tend to belittle boys for showing emotions. Boys are told not to “cry like a girl” and are supposed to refrain from showing signs of sadness or despair. The accepted emotions that a boy can express our feelings of anger. This is a toxic trait that needs to change. Tell your little boys that it’s okay to feel emotions and explain the different emotions to them to understand how to deal with them. It‘s not feminine to feel emotions, it’s only natural, and it’s what makes you human.
- Express Yourself
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Greet them with love, hugs, and kisses, just like you do with your daughters. A son needs his fair share of love too. They will learn to express themselves better when they are shown love and care without hesitation. Hug your son, shower him with kisses and tell him you love him. Go now!
It might be hard to change your parenting style overnight. However, now that you are aware of the ramifications that your parenting behavior might have on your kids, it’s best to adopt small changes to give them the best care. Some boys are sensitive, some aren’t, but it doesn’t make them any less of a boy or any more of a girl! Comment below and let us know your thoughts on this matter!
