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As your belly grows, so will your need to do it all. But guess what, pregnancy isn’t all hearts, flowers and glowy happiness, it’s also filled with nausea, morning sickness, body aches and cramps. As you gear up for labor you may think that you have it all in the bag. But babies are more work than you could have ever anticipated. And sometimes the only way to get through the first few months without losing your sanity and health is to ask for help. So, it’s time to let go of the pressure to do it all. Having a supportive partner, family and friends will make a world of difference once your baby gets here. They’ll be the reason you can sleep, eat and take those much needed 5 minute showers. But once you’ve made up your mind about asking for help comes the question of how to ask for help. After all, everyone, even your retired parents have their own lives so there are some things you need to sort out before you bring any help onboard.
1. Start By Having A Conversation Before The Baby Is Born
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When you first tell your inner circle that you’re expecting, we’re sure that there’s a lot of excitement involved. Everyone is happy for you and immediately thinking about ways in which they can contribute materialistically. And that’s the root of your problem. The important thing is to shift their focus from all the baby clothes they want to buy (that your little one will hardly get the chance to wear anyway) to more practical and pressing needs. During your pregnancy make sure to get all the emotional support that you need from your family and friends. Communicate with your partner about the help you might need in the future and start planning out how you want to accommodate it. And most importantly don’t stop building your relationship with your partner by keeping their wishes and concerns in mind as well.
2. Get Organized Together
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This is the time for you and your partner to start putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Making a home for your baby to come to should be on top of your list of priorities. Develop a baby registry and plan the nursery together. Then, your friends and family will know exactly what they can get you in terms of materialistic things. Letting them pool in for useful items like a white noise machine or a baby bag is a much better idea than letting them get you whatever they like. In the meantime, talk to your partner about your new routine and do things like downloading the same nursing app so you and your partner can have them in sync. It’s time to get your ducks in a row as the clock counts down.
3. Figure Out Who Will Be Doing What
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Your world is going to descend into chaos once your baby arrives. So there will be no time to decide who will change the diapers, put the baby down for a nap, burp the baby, bottle feed at night or entertain them during the day after they are born. Do it now. Define your respective roles and responsibilities ahead of time to ease the tension. This way you will avoid any confusion in the future.
4. Express Your Needs And Desire For Additional Help And Support
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No one can read your mind so if you find that you do need help, pass the message along. If you find it hard to communicate when you are frustrated, let your partner know beforehand, that way, they won’t wait for you to ask before they step in and take over.
Discuss how much additional help you will need. If your parents want to get involved, there will be several schedules that you will have to work around so it’s best to get a rough idea of how everything will work before the baby arrives. If you are going to hire a nanny or a babysitter, it’s best to go through the process of finding one before you give birth. This way you’ll have professional help exactly when you need it the most.
5. Help While Dealing With Declining Mental Health
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Depression, baby blues and postpartum depression can happen to any woman. Out of 8 women at least one experiences postpartum depression or depression due to pregnancy (1). So don’t be afraid to seek out professional help. You can talk to a counselor or therapist or join a support group for moms who are dealing with the same issues as you. Make sure to allow your partner and family to support you through this trying time.
Taking care of a baby is not an easy job. And they weren’t kidding when they said it takes a village to raise a child. So let your own little “village” help in any way they can. It’s okay to take a step back and delegate once in a while. Stay happy and healthy!
