I'm A Single, Working Mom And No, I Don't Want It All

After five years of working, I finally took a vacation last week. I asked my sister to babysit my son for a few days and took a week off work to absolutely do nothing in a quaint little place I had found on Airbnb.

I am a single mother with a 7-year-old. Being a divorced working mom with not much time to spare for my child, I made sure I gave him everything I could to make him happy. I wanted to do the best I could. I wanted to provide the best life for him, have a successful career, and live the life you see on the Instagram reels of influencer moms.

I thought the key to my happiness would be in having it all. I wanted to have a hobby, read as many books as I could, work on my book, have an impeccable house with great interiors that I styled myself, and have a thriving social life. I wanted my house to always smell my fresh baked cookies.

After my divorce, I bounced back in no time and realized life was too short to dwell on the past. I looked at other single mums and got inspired by how great their life was. I wanted a picture-perfect life. I would look at the Instagram feed and highlights of influencer moms and envision the same for myself. I thought, “How hard could it be?” After all, they made it look so easy.

I'm A Single, Working Mom And No, I Don't Want It All
share button

Image: Shutterstock

I ate home-cooked food three times a day, made sure I never missed my workouts and tried new healthy recipes every weekend. But somewhere down the life, it became hard for me to keep up. Between work, kid, and everything else, I started feeling burnt out. But every time I slacked off for a bit, I felt like I was nothing but lazy and that much further away from achieving my goals. So I would push myself even more, leading to a toxic cycle, which would cause me to end up feeling guilty and overwhelmed at the same time.

I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong! Especially when the other moms seem to do it so easily. Wasn’t I pushing myself enough, or was I doing it the wrong way? But soon, I found that the goals I set for myself were unrealistic. That my happiness doesn’t lie in having it all.

Living the social media life could be exhausting because that’s not real. I worked my a** off at the office and home every single day, rarely taking a day off. I was running from my office back to home and in my gym clothes. My schedule was always packed with something or the other. I thought it was important to be in the best shape and look the part as well. But in the effort of having it all, I was falling apart. I forgot the last time I felt truly happy and content.

I'm A Single, Working Mom And No, I Don't Want It All
share button

Image: Shutterstock

So I decided to take a break. A break from running every day. A break from high heels. A break from my salon appointments. A break from baking cookies and pies. A break from chipping away at the book I wanted to complete before the end of the month.

Now, I embrace my messy bun and unshaven legs. When I am back from work, I take some time for myself, sometimes the entire evening. I am in no hurry to clean the house or do the laundry. I’ve realized that it’s okay to take a break. I can get to the dirty dishes or pinned recipes on my Pinterest later. Now, when I read, I do it for myself. While it’s healthy to have goals, ambitions, and hobbies, I’ve realized it’s equally important to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

Maybe you don’t need to have it all, and the whole definition of it is distorted. Or maybe having it all means getting through the day without anything affecting your inner peace.

Was this article helpful?
thumbsupthumbsdown
The following two tabs change content below.