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Being a mom to two little ones, I’m constantly tired. To be frank, tired doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel. I know it’s not a competition, and things won’t be any different three years from now. I’m sure I’m just going to be just as tired as my kids are still very young. There are days when I wish I could get a restful night’s slumber. Maybe a whole night of uninterrupted sleep would do me some good. But even when I try to hit the bed at two at night, I’m suddenly needed by my four-year-old who has woken up from a bad dream and needs his mommy to snuggle with him for some time.
There’s tired, and then there’s mom tired. It’s a miracle how we manage to function. Going into pregnancy and later motherhood, I had no idea how sleep-deprived I would end up being. I had a smooth first pregnancy. My first child was a calm little guy who never cried too much or threw too many tantrums. All our friends were jealous of how easy we had it with our little one. All the challenges a mom faces in the first few years of parenthood, from dealing with tantrums, picky eaters to the constant crying, were absent from our lives; we had none. Sure, there was some crying, but after the initial months, all of us had settled into our roles comfortably. There were definitely sleepless nights, but I managed to catch six hours of sleep soon after my son had a solid feeding schedule.
A year into it, we started trying for a second baby, and it didn’t take long before I was pregnant again. This time, things weren’t as smooth. Although I was apprehensive about everything during my first time, I was much more confident going into it this time. Having experienced pregnancy and parenthood, I believed nothing could surprise me. Oh, how naive was I!
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The first few months went by in a blur. The constant crying, breastfeeding, diaper changes, sleepless nights, burping, and spit-ups took up our entire day. In between all of that chaos, we had to prepare meals, look after our little one who was still very young, do laundry, and wash dishes. Just surviving a day without breaking down felt like such an achievement. A few months into it, we had realized how different both our children were. My second child turned out to be a picky eater, and even breastfeeding him was challenging in itself. Despite not being new to this experience, I found myself completely clueless on numerous occasions. Nothing would soothe my crying baby. I would burp him, change his diaper, feed him again, and he still wouldn’t stop crying. Pangs of anxiety would overcome me, and I was riddled by the constant guilt of not being able to soothe my little one. Every time I took him to the doctor, they would reassure me that my little one was healthy. This gave me even more anxiety as I wasn’t able to figure out what was causing this episode of relentless crying.
However, things started looking up a few months after. Though it was never easy, I learned to sail through things with my peace of mind intact. I also came upon the realization that no two babies will be the same. My first child was a sound sleeper, whereas my second one had sleep regression when he turned one. No matter what, there are gonna be days where nothing will work, and I am okay with that. Does motherhood leave me feeling exhausted? Yes!
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Would I do it all over again? 100%.
I’m tired, but I’m also extremely happy. My family is everything I could have asked for and more. And not a day goes by when I don’t feel grateful for having them by my side in my journey through life.
