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Pregnancy can be an exciting and beautiful journey, not only for the mom to be, but for their partner as well. But as the due date gets closer, you may find yourself getting more and more anxious. Everyone knows what the mother ought to do when the time comes, but what should their birthing partner do? Well, your main role is to be supporting and encouraging throughout the whole ordeal. The childbirth process can be long, exhausting and unpredictable. Things may not go according to the plan and you may need to step in to ensure that your partner’s wishes and concerns are addressed if they are under duress. So, there’s a lot more to being a birth partner than simply taking a step back and holding someone’s hand. If you’d like to know more about what you can do to support a woman in labor, then this is the article for you. Read on to know more!
1. Learn To Recognise Signs Of Labor
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It doesn’t matter if you are a family member, a partner, a friend or a professional hired to help in the delivery room. If you are someone’s birth partner, you need to do some studying to prepare for the role. Your first order of business will be to learn to recognise signs of labor and distinguish them from false contractions that women can have late into their pregnancy. These false contractions are usually uncomfortable but painless and nothing close to the real deal.
They are known as Braxton Hicks contractions and learning to recognize them will save you from having to shuttle back and forth from the hospital due to false alarms (1). You must also take note of other signs that signal that the woman is about to go into labor. Like their water breaking resulting in a trickle or gush of fluid. Another sign is persistent back ache, cramps and a premenstrual feeling. Most women who are about to give birth also pass the mucus plug, which is in their cervix. The most obvious sign is contractions becoming longer, more painful and regular (2).
2. Help Time Contractions And Wait It Out
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The onset of labor is often depicted as a sudden phenomenon that immediately requires medical attention, but this isn’t the truth in most cases. Women usually labor for hours before they even go to the hospital or before the midwife arrives. It is usually more comfortable for the mother to spend the initial stages of labor at home anyway. Moreover, many hospitals won’t admit a woman in labor until her contractions are regular, painful, and coming every three to five minutes and the cervix is starting to dilate. So, the best thing to do is help them walk around, rest and time their contractions. Timing their contractions periodically will help you understand how things are processing and how dilated your partner might be. Once they are having regular and painful contractions that last for 30 seconds or longer, it’s go time (3). You can call your doctor or midwife to let them know that you are coming over so that they can be better prepared to tend to your pregnant partner once you get to the hospital.
3. Know What To Expect During Labor
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Labor may be magical but it certainly isn’t pretty or predictable. It can be painful, long and confusing for your exhausted partner. So, it’s up to you to keep a close eye on them, be there for them and know which stage of labor they may be approaching (4). The early phase of labor can last the longest, as you help your partner time their contractions and rub their back as they get longer and stronger. The active phase is next and can last up to 6 hours. At this stage you should be at the hospital and helping your partner through breathing exercises and relaxation techniques. This is also when the birth plan might change and when you may need to step in and advocate for your partner’s wishes while still taking her safety into consideration. Then comes the transition phase when their contractions become intense and painful and when your partner is told to start pushing in order to aid the baby to come down their vaginal canal.
The second stage of labor includes the majority of the pushing and birthing. This is when your beautiful baby is born. But it’s not over yet. The third stage creeps up quickly as your partner will have to deliver the placenta 5 to 10 minutes after they deliver the baby. At this point your partner can be tired, cold and shaky. So make sure to offer them a cold blanket and hold your newborn as she regains her strength.
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and frightened when you think about what awaits you in the delivery room. But the best way to get over the nerves is to be prepared and knowledgeable about what is to take place. This way you will know how to encourage and support your partner throughout the process.
