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Every parent wants to show their kids how much they love and adore them. And although we all have our own ways of expressing our affection towards our children, kissing them is a universal way of smothering them with love. You have probably spent a good amount of time dotting over your child since the day they were born and who could blame you? Your child’s rosy cheeks and little frame was made to be pampered and cuddled. Some parents find their children so stinking cute that they even kiss them on the lips. This is not a new trend. Your own parents might have done the same thing. In some cultures kissing someone on the lips isn’t reserved for romantic purposes and is just a general way of showing love. And although this may seem like a harmless idea, kissing your child on the lips may not be the best way to convey parental love. But since it’s such a common practice, the verdict is still out on whether it’s acceptable to kiss your kids on their lips or not. Wondering what side you’ll take? Read the article to find out!
Why Some Experts Think It’s Okay
While kissing your kids may be viewed as an unusual practice it is not exactly new and it should be the parent’s choice to decide whether they consider it appropriate or not. After all, in many cultures, kissing on the lips is quite common and is not sexualized in any sense. It is seen as just another way to express affection and closeness, even if completely platonic. And we know that intimacy between parents and children is extremely beneficial for the kids. Hugging and kissing your kids can have a positive effect on their development.
Whether kissing your child on the lips is determined depends mostly on factors like your family dynamic, cultural norms, experience as well as perception of outward affection. Only you can gauge if it is the right thing to do or not.
Why Some Experts Think It Isn’t Okay
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There are several reasons as to why it’s not acceptable to kiss your little ones on the list. It is greatly due to the fact that a kiss on the lips usually suggests something more than platonic love. There are also more pressing reasons such as:
1. It Shifts Your Child’s Sense Of Personal Boundaries
If you’d like your child to understand the concept of boundaries, the sooner you start teaching them the better. The lips and the mouth are personal boundaries of your child’s body and they should learn their limits, even with you. Most parents think that it’s okay to kiss their kids on the mouth because after all, it’s their kids. But they forget that as important as it is to show the kids that they love them, it is equally important to teach them to respect their own boundaries as well as those of other people. Kissing your child on their lips teaches them that their body boundaries are open and that it is totally okay for someone to intrude in their space without their consent. They must learn that they are allowed to define their own comfort with physical touch and express it when they don’t want it.
2. Your Child May Start Kissing Others On The Mouth
Your child takes their cues from you. This means that they could repeat behaviors that they engage in at home with those outside, including lip-kissing, even if it may be well-intentioned. Your child may sometimes be too young to differentiate between behaviors reserved for the family circle and those that must be modified for people outside of this circle. This may include close family friends, peers, friends and acquaintances. So chances are that if you kiss your child on the lips they may do the same to other people or children as a way to express sympathy or affection. Keep in mind that even if it is intended as an innocent expression of love by the parents, children mimic them. So they might do the same to someone else without understanding the intimate and psychosocial implications of this gesture. This can be particularly harmful for your child as they will be easier to take advantage of by others.
3. It Is Unsanitary
You may think that it’s perfectly safe to kiss your kids since you brush your teeth twice a day, floss and gargle. What could go wrong? However, medical experts warn about the overwhelming amount of microorganisms in our mouths that adults may be immune to but can be orally transmitted and prove to be harmful to children (1). Not to mention that children have a weaker and vulnerable immune system, making them susceptible to any dangerous infections that can enter their bodies through kissing. Keep in mind that kissing your kids with cosmetic products on your lips can also be detrimental to their skin. Many children have sensitive skin or are allergic to certain ingredients in cosmetics. So you should keep your lips far away from their mouth while wearing them.
At the end of the day kissing your kid is an innocent act that should not be misinterpreted or sexualized. But it may not also be the most appropriate manner to express the love and affection you have for them. However, only you can make this call!
