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“What goes around, comes around.” This famous saying reflects real life, especially when it comes to parenting. Everyone is raised differently, and it won’t be wrong to guess say that many of you might have experienced bad parenting more than once in your life. Whether it was unintentional or not, you’d never want your child to come across such bad phases, ever. We can’t deny that upbringing plays an important role in the development of personalities. So, is it possible to exhibit the right mentality while raising your child even if you’ve gone through bad experiences during your childhood?
Well in this article we’ll discuss how having a bad childhood can affect your overall thinking while raising your kids, and ways to fix it to provide a healthy environment for them.
How Bad Upbringing Can Affect Your Parenting Style?
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It’s no secret that bad parenting can have a lasting effect on children, but did you know it can also affect your parenting style? Whether it was good or bad, the way your parents treated you will often shape the way you treat your children in turn.
The most obvious example of this is, if someone was mistreated as a child they may be more likely to pass those behaviors on to their children. This could include anything from physical and emotional abuse, to neglecting basic needs like food and shelter. Even something as seemingly inconsequential as being yelled at or belittled by one’s parents can also lead them to treat their kids similarly when they become adults themselves, even if unintentionally.
So if you are indulged in one of the following behaviors around your kids, you are most likely to be a victim of bad parenting itself, that too unintentionally:
- You yell at your kids often.
- You criticize them.
- You compare them to other kids.
- You punish your kids physically.
- You verbally abuse them.
- You lie to them.
These are the most common traits of toxic parenting. This makes the kid further experience an unfriendly environment to grow. While there is no scientific or psychological backing that everyone who had a difficult upbringing will go out and replicate those same patterns within their families, it’s better to know which track you are on as a parent.
Can You Become A Good Parent?
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Yes, it is possible to be a good parent even after having a bad childhood. Despite the challenges of growing up in an unstable environment, those who have experienced difficult times can use their experiences to become better parents and create healthier homes for their children.
People who have experienced hardships as children may be more likely to recognize signs of distress in their kids and take proactive steps toward providing them with emotional support or even professional help if needed. They may also be more understanding when it comes to discipline since they understand how difficult life can get at times. Moreover, these parents know how to appreciate moments spent together with family much more than others. Since they know what it’s like not having that stability growing up.
Ways To Raise Your Kids With A Healthy Approach
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Raising a child in a positive environment can be challenging, especially if the parents were victims of bad parenting. But with some effort, it is possible to provide your children with all the guidance and support they need for successful development. Following are some ways you can cope with your parental limitations and provide the best upbringing experience for your kids effectively:
- Talk To Them Independently
You must create an environment of open communication between yourself and your child so they feel comfortable expressing themselves. Encouraging them to talk about their feelings will help build trust in the relationship while also teaching them valuable coping skills for later on in life.
- Don’t Control Them Every Time
Letting them know why certain behaviors aren’t acceptable is much better than simply telling them “no” without explanation. This builds respect within both of you while also helping them teach problem-solving skills.
- Shower Them With Love
Set boundaries but don’t forget to show love too. Kids need structure but they still need affection and attention from time to time. Whether this means hugs when things go wrong or extra cuddles before bed each night, showing compassion towards your children teaches empathy which will benefit both sides immensely throughout adulthood as well.
- Don’t Have Any Expectations
You should also try not to impose any expectations onto your child without first discussing what those expectations are so there is no confusion or misunderstanding down the line as they grow older.
Well, good parenting is not something that you can get away with your fingers crossed. It’s a never-ending process and even if you have had a dark past or bad upbringing experiences during your childhood, there’s always a good chance that you’d be a great parent and treat your children well. So do let us in the comment section below about the instances when you found yourself enacting similar to your parents when raising your children. Happy parenting!!
