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When I was growing up, my mother often told me that the act of smiling is free, but the joy it spreads is priceless. I remember her thoughtful words to this day and knew that I would someday share this with my daughter. In the world we live in today, being kind is considered a weakness. There is so much pain and suffering in the world already, so why would we not want to spread some cheer? My mother told me that when people spread hate and negativity, it’s because they have hatred in their hearts. They have probably lost the light within and end up spreading darkness.
We live in a world where kindness is so underrated. People go about their day being mean and rude when all it takes to turn someone’s day around is perhaps a smile. Being kind is not being weak. It takes strength to be kind. When the world around you is bad, it’s easy to get lost in the negativity. It does not take a lot to become one with the world and allow it to make you cold. What takes strength is to continue being kind and wishing well for people in the world. I was sure I wanted to raise my children in a way where kindness was second nature to them.
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I had my first child when I was 27 years old. When she turned 2 years old, I started taking her to the park close to home to play with her friends. The mommies in the locality had some time to hang out while the kids made new friends and played in the park. This is where I first witnessed it. There was a queue lined up for the swing, and while I was chatting with another mommy, there was a commotion about whose turn it was next to use the swingset. One 3-year-old little girl pushed the other kids and elbowed her way to the swing with no regard for anyone else or the queue. Seeing this, her mom, who was sitting with us, was proud that her daughter “stood up for herself” and got her chance at the swing. She said, “I’m proud that I’ve raised a strong little girl.”
I left the park that day thinking about how our society has got the idea of a “strong girl” all wrong. Does being strong mean disregarding others’ feelings? Does it mean that you have no respect for another? Why does being a strong woman equate to being a rude woman?
These are questions I did not have any answers for. However, I knew it was not right. It was not how I wanted to raise my daughter. While standing up for yourself and what you believe in is important, it is not necessary to be rude while doing so. You can be kind and still ask for what you want. You can be kind and still not be a pushover. You can be kind and still stand your ground. It is not this or that. It is this and that.
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Women have it harder. We are judged and shamed for everything we do, but being rude, mean, and disrespectful is not the solution. I learned from the incident in the park that I have to teach my daughter to voice her needs, concern, and opinion without disrespecting others. I have to teach her the importance of saying no (something that most of us do not know) and let her know that it’s okay if people are disappointed in them.
Being kind is a strength. It spreads positivity and attracts love. It has the power to heal a broken spirit and lift a wounded soul. I want my daughter to understand that kindness is a form of strength, and it takes courage and self-awareness to be that way in a world so cruel. Let’s face it, the world needs more of it, and I’m raising my daughter to proudly endorse it.
