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Whether you are a new mom or already have a 12-year-old, there are a few things you learn at the beginning of this journey that will make it easier for you to settle into the role of motherhood. Adjusting to this role was, if anything, quite challenging for me. I thought the worst part would be labor and childbirth, but nobody prepared me for what was ahead. Motherhood is a mix of failed expectations, painful experiences, harsh realities, and some sweet moments that make every struggle worth it. Here are 6 important lessons I’ve learned after becoming a mom.
1. Pregnancy Is Just The Beginning
Saw those two pink lines on your pregnancy kit? You’re just getting started. For couples who have been trying to get pregnant for long, getting pregnant can be the most tricky part. From frequent visits to the doctor and fertility tests to trying different treatments, getting pregnant might seem like the ultimate goal, and it sure is, for that point in your life. But once you get pregnant, you suddenly realize that there is a long road ahead.
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2. You Can’t Escape Hearing People’s Opinion
But you can definitely decide how you take it. From expressing their disappointment about how you decided to feed your baby and your parenting style to reminding you how horrific childbirth can be, people love talking about how they feel. Some women might go as far as to remind you that you could still miscarry. Remember to not take anything to heart. However, you will also find a bunch of well-wishers who genuinely want the best for you. Keep them close and shut off all the other noise.
3. Change Is Constant
So don’t be surprised when your body changes from the time you get pregnant or after birth. While it’s nice that some women can completely embrace their post-pregnancy body, don’t feel guilty if you don’t feel the same way. And it’s not just your body that changes, you start to sympathize with fellow moms and find new traits about yourself you never knew existed.
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4. Baby Books And Research Can Only Get You So Far
And that’s a scary thought indeed. But that doesn’t mean you ditch all the baby books and be completely unprepared. You cannot live your life by the books as each child and family is different. Do your best with everything you’ve got and take things one day at a time. Parenting is all about trial and error, and with every mistake you make, you are one step closer to finding what works for you and your family.
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5. Be Prepared For The Unexpected
Whether this is your first time being a mom or you are a mom of two, never expect things to go the same way as it had been before. Sure, you would be at an advantage if this is not your first time raising a child. If your first child was easy, your second child might take twice or thrice the amount of effort from your end. From breastfeeding and sleep regression to temper tantrums and potty-training, you may be faced with a new challenge and will have to think of new ways to navigate through it.
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6. Your Partner May Not Be The Best Parent You’d Hoped For
You might have heard from your friend about her perfect partner who was the absolute best in taking care of her baby. Or a colleague’s husband who brought her flowers, rubbed her feet, and fulfilled all the daddy duties. It can be disappointing if your partner falls short of such expectations from you and you may even start to hold it against them. Remember that it’s a new challenge for both of you, and the best way to deal with it is via communication. Find ways you can help each other out. Plus, there’s no shame in telling your partner what you expect from him/her.
I hope that this list resonated with you and maybe you even found comfort in knowing you’re not alone. And if you’re somebody who plans to be a mom or is expecting, I hope that the above lessons would help you in some ways to make this journey a lot less stressful and a lot more enjoyable.
