Research-backed
Image: Shutterstock
A debate that’s even harder to solve than the famous chicken or egg paradox is the breast milk vs. formula debate. It’s been around for quite some time now, and though science has more or less settled the matter to an extent, battles still rage on this hot topic among families. Some are pro-breastfeeding and anti formula feeding, while some fall on the other end of the spectrum.
Though it should be a matter of personal choice in theory, that’s hardly ever the reality. And for one woman in particular, it turned out to be a nightmare thanks to her MIL (mother-in-law, to be precise).
Reddit poster, u/NorlinaRidge had to go through a particularly tough argument with her mother-in-law concerning breast milk vs. formula when she became a mom (1). Being a working mother, she decided to go down the formula feeding route, knowing all too well that it would be best for her baby. But her mother-in-law had other plans in mind. She firmly wanted her grandchild to be breastfed and expected her daughter-in-law to take six months off from work for the same. Unrealistic, right? And this despite her daughter in law trying to explain repeatedly that formula was the way to go for her family!
What’s The Fuss All About?
Image: Shutterstock
The mother begins her post by saying that she’s a firm believer of “happy family, happy baby”. And that she clearly doesn’t want to argue on the whole issue of bottle vs. breastfeeding. All she wants is to explain her side of the story.
She tries to explain that being a working mom with a regular 9 to 5 job, it’s not always possible for new mothers to take leaves longer than their stipulated maternity break. Often extending their leaves beyond what they’ve been offered can cost them their jobs, forcing them to put their careers on halt.
In such cases, turning to bottle feeding can save mothers a lot of time and make it much easier for them to get back to work. Since they don’t have to be physically present to breastfeed their baby every hour or so, they can focus on work and providing for their baby.
She goes on to say that she didn’t decide to bottle feed her baby on a whim. Being a responsible parent, she did her fair share of research before choosing formula feeding. In fact, she’s a scientist and is inclined to conduct research before making any decision, especially something as important as choosing what’s best for her baby. Her husband agrees with her decision, ready to be a stay-at-home-dad so she can get back to work. It makes sense for them and fits in perfectly well with their lifestyle.
But her mother-in-law is not convinced. She tries her best to make her son see that his wife is ‘harming’ his child by choosing not to breastfeed. The MIL further says that she will be setting her child up for certain failure and low IQ by choosing to formula feed.
Luckily, the husband counters the argument by stating that his wife was formula fed too and turned out to be a scientist! He also mentions how quite a few of his siblings were bottle-fed and turned out just fine. And that being a stay-at-home-mom is not an option for his wife as she might lose her job.
What’s The Solution?
Image: Shutterstock
As the mother goes on to say in her post, parents know what’s best for their baby. As caregivers, they’ll never take a decision that harms their baby in any way. But unfortunately, the mother-in-law doesn’t quite see eye to eye with them and still tries to convince them by sending blog posts that strongly advocate breastfeeding. Fortunately, the parents go ahead with their decision.
For new parents with full-time jobs, parenting can be a challenge — especially for the mother, with the whole breastfeeding vs. bottle-feeding debate going on in the background. In such cases, where the mother has to either sacrifice her career or balance both with ease, she should always choose the latter. And if that means bottle-feeding her baby, that’s okay. She shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about it. She’s a mother, after all. And as we’ve all heard before, a mother knows best!
