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Mental health is so important, and anyone who tells you otherwise has probably not struggled with it. When someone comes to me saying they think they have anxiety and depression, I help them in every way I can. Still, I can’t reiterate this enough: conditions like anxiety and depression require professional help. It does not get better with time or just “let it pass”. I learned this the hard way when I saw my sister struggle with it.
She was always a quirky kid. Growing up, she had big plans for her life and even achieved some of her goals. After her graduation, my sister, Bianca, married her long-term boyfriend, David. They were happy and thriving in their respective careers. But with time, things started getting bad. Bianca experienced days where she lacked the will and energy to do anything. She would lay in bed all day, and even getting out of bed to take a shower became a difficult task. David was supportive through it but recommended that she go to therapy. However, Bianca refused. She was probably afraid to take that step because then, it would be real. She chose to live in denial.
A few years after their marriage, they were blessed with a baby girl. Bianca was a hands-on mom. It looked like she was happy and blissful all the time. Motherhood suited her, and we were all thrilled for her. It seemed as though becoming a mother was the best thing that could happen to her. It completed her in many ways and made her feel fulfilled. However, it did not last very long.
Over time, my sister started feeling alone again. She went back to struggling to get through the day, and she began feeling lost. Being a mother made her spot on with her baby’s needs, but she was so busy fulfilling them that she started to forget her own needs. Her mental health took a backseat, and there were days when she did not want to leave the house.
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David was worried for her, and he called me to check in on her. I showed up at her doorstep to check on her without informing her, and what I witnessed worried me to bits. She barely had the strength to walk up to me and greet me. My sister, who always loved keeping her surroundings clean, had given up on herself and her environment. It was a mess. She was a mess. Frankly, it was terrifying.
Eventually, we got to talking, and she opened up to me. She told me how she’s afraid to admit that she might need help. After talking to her and assuring her that I would be with her every step of the way, she agreed to get a full check-up done. We drove up to the hospital and met with a doctor. Bianca filled out a questionnaire, and for the first time in a long time, she answered the section about mental health honestly. She told me that as much as it was frightening, it was also liberating to admit to the doctor that she was NOT okay.
Being a mother can take a toll on you, and if you have mental health issues, shouldn’t you feel okay while raising another human? Why is the mental health of struggling mothers never talked about? It’s a shame and quite honestly alarming that a mother’s mental health is rarely considered. Isn’t it better for our kids if we prioritize ourselves too?
Every time you feel like you’re on the brink of a mental breakdown, remember to be honest with yourself and get the help you need. If you’ve been feeling down lately, take the step to get help so you can get better. Because you deserve to feel okay when you’re raising humans. Not just for them, but for you too!
