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“New year, new me” is a New Year resolution that is too old for me, because as a mother, the definition of who I am and what I want my goals to look like has changed drastically. Do you resonate with what I’m talking about?
As mothers, we often feel the pressure to be perfect, be it at work or back home. And without even realizing it, our goals evolve, keeping the betterment of our families in mind. All-in-all, they revolve around our children.
Perhaps this is the aftermath of having a mom-brain.
When an “I” turns into a “we,” every life goal is re-altered. Even so, I make weekly goals for myself and set a timeline for everything. And this includes meeting targets at work, keeping myself fit, doing house chores, and spending quality time with my children. And in between things, I pursue a hobby that makes me feel rejuvenated.
While I see mothers like myself rowing in the same boat, hustling their way through motherhood, and trying to feel whole — I often get bouts of anxiety, which gets me all worked up! In fact, whenever I failed to meet my work targets earlier or if my kids were going through something, my judgment would get so cloudy that I’d be extremely hard on myself.
I didn’t think taking a break from all the madness was an option altogether. So I pushed myself to do more without rationalizing decisions. And my unhealthy routine backfired when the pandemic hit our lives!
After a few sleepless nights, restless days, unending work, and a huge void taking over my life, I decided to catch a breath and see things in a whole new light. I’m sure a pandemic will do that to anybody. And when I stopped following a toxic routine to be that perfect human being who has everything in control, I started reflecting on how my life was a gift. All I had to do was realize that I was doing just about alright, and so was my family. We were all A-OKAY!
Funny, isn’t it? We all rush through life, hoping that the next day, month, or year is what will help us put things in perspective.
That’s what we thought about 2020 too!
Everyone had high hopes for the year that was and sent me social media posts validating their expectations. It did make me wonder where all that optimism led us! But even if it didn’t match up to our expectations, I wouldn’t say there was absolutely nothing to look forward to this year around!
People — especially mothers — put so much pressure to start each year afresh. And I must say, we do start off on the right note! But when the routine takes over, the monotony of it all gets the negative thoughts flowing.
If the last year has taught us anything, then it’s c’est la vie, meaning such is life. Things will get way harder right before they get a whole lot better. So, instead of playing the blame game to feel better about ourselves, we should understand the value of what we may not always have in abundance and seize the moment.
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Let’s stop worrying about our pace and focus on changing our ways.
We all want to better ourselves, no doubt. But rather than beating ourselves up for all our mistakes, let’s focus on taking a step towards keeping our sanity in check and doing little things out of the ordinary to feel happier.
Bid farewell to the pressure altogether.
2021 is a new year, and we will have bigger shoes to fill. We can take it upon ourselves to let go of all the added pressure and be grateful for the resources that help us expand our horizons. And while we’re at it, find joy in little victories and enjoy everyday things with kids.
So screw all the resolutions that you’ve made over the years and start a new journey of exploring the odds of dealing with life — one day at a time.
