From dream to reality, having children might seem to be a different ballgame. But regretting having children – how valid is that!?
Recently a Facebook page called I Regret Having Children has been garnering some attention in recent months with many taking to the page. The group was started in July 2012 by a mother called R. So far the page has about 3,200 members who use the platform anonymously to vent out their unhappiness around having children. A read through the posts can tell you how atrociously ridiculous the newfound parenting can seem to most of these women.
It might be hard to believe that women feel so, but that’s the reality. The fact that motherhood is a sign of a whole-hearted acceptance of the baby makes it sound unrealistic that women can regret being mothers. Moreover, it can be ironical wherein a woman was totally up for attaining motherhood, but later has nothing to chime in about. Here are some of the reasons quoted by these women for regretting having children in their honest confessions:
- Not getting enough time for oneself (especially while being an introvert can make it hard).
- Not being able to afford to go anywhere because kids are so expensive.
- Not being in a place where one doesn’t want to live in.
- Parenting is relentlessly exhausting.
- Feeling that a kid can close off a lot of possibilities for one, even diminishing the spontaneity in one’s life.
- One is almost never done with a diaper-changing business that can overwhelm one of who has expectations of doing more in life.
- Having the same experience with subsequent children and still not learning one’s lessons!
- Sleep deprivation, drudgery, and monotony are how one might want to describe motherhood.
- Not being able to do the things one did before having children.
- Not being connected with everyone.
- Lack of sleep to the extent that one has to miss work or threatens to leave her husband.
- Being on one’s nerves and being overcome by annoyance or anger.
- Ending up spanking your baby or being rude because you can’t handle her anymore.
- Feeling too much sacrifice going on your part as a parent.
- Almost hating your kids because you cannot have your weekends!
- Or you might feel so much love for your baby that you know you can’t leave him or her alone even for a moment. Can there be any worse self-inflicted isolation from the world?
- You feel so stuck!
- As a mother, you feel nothing more accomplished than having grown and birthed a human!
These are but confessions of mothers on the social forum. But there are many other reasons that might make mommies feel bad about being mommies.
Just think about yourself. Are you a career woman? Are you one of those women who loves adventures? Are you a woman who loves doing her own thing? Do you put yourself in the brackets of the happy-go-lucky woman who does just about anything, loves going just about everywhere? Then here’s a word of caution if you are on the road to motherhood. Not that you’re becoming a mommy will snatch away these things from you – it never will, although you will have to give your first few weeks to your baby entirely. But with being organized and support from your spouse and family, you can have your space and time. Just stop thinking negatively about motherhood, and you be able to keep things in control.