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When I was a kid, and my dad used to call me his little girl, I always told him that I’m a big girl and that he should stop calling me little. Then I hit the teenage years and used to get embarrassed when both my parents called me their baby and sometimes called them out because I thought to myself, “I’m a teenager, why are they calling me a baby? I’m almost a fully grown woman now”. Finally, on my wedding day, my parents delivered the most emotional speech about how I’ll always be their little girl, no matter how old I get. While it was a moving speech that made tears roll down several cheeks, I understood that it was a sentiment that every parent felt about their children.
It was not until I became a mother that I could fathom the depth of that sentiment. It was more than just a statement. It was something that I felt with every fiber of my being. My little girl was born from my very own flesh and blood, and I loved her to bits. There was nothing in the world that could make me feel otherwise. One night, after the routine feeding, I lay down next to her while I put her to sleep. I watched her tiny eyes close; she grabbed my whole finger with her mini hands, and I noticed a heavenly smile on her face. At that moment, I saw a glimpse of the big moments in her life. The first time she loses a milk tooth, her first teenage crush, first prom, and even her wedding day. I was overwhelmed because it seemed like that could happen in a jiffy, and my baby girl could grow up when I wasn’t ready for it.
That’s precisely what happened. Well, I’m not talking about her wedding day, but my little girl grew up right before my eyes, and it was a transition I wasn’t ready for. When my daughter was three years old, I had my second child. As soon as I walked through that front door with my newborn baby, my daughter became a big sister, and while she might have been ready for that, I wasn’t.
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I loved her so much that I was scared. What if I couldn’t share that love with my second child? I was terrified that my daughter would feel neglected that my love, attention, and time was now divided. I thought it would break me. But what I learned was truly beautiful. My heart expanded, and I felt pure and unconditional love flow through me. Instead of breaking me, it made me whole and filled my life with emotions that I never thought I could feel.
My daughter was the ideal big sister. She took care of her little sibling so well and seeing her harbor that responsibility filled my eyes with tears. She was just another baby, but the way she stepped up and rose to the occasion was beyond my comprehension. She would help me bathe my newborn, and when it was time to sleep, she would hum lullabies to the baby. I did not teach her to be a big sister; it came so naturally to her.
It took me a while to accept that my little daughter was growing up. Even though I felt that I wasn’t ready for my daughter to grow up before my eyes, she became a big sister, and it seemed like she was born for it. She was understanding and caring. I often looked at my little blessing and miracle and wondered how mature she was for a 3-year-old. It was almost too good to be true. She loved her little sibling more than anything in the world, and I loved both my babies beyond measure!
