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Giving birth to a child is one of the most wonderful moments in a person’s life. So when I found out that I was expecting a baby, my joy knew no bounds. Because it was already beyond the expected delivery date, the doctor had to induce childbirth. I had been more than prepared to have a natural birth. However, the labor did not proceed as expected, and ultimately we had to go for a C-section delivery. But when I first laid eyes on my son, all the struggle seemed to be worth it. He was a life that I had brought into this world, and there is nothing quite like that feeling.
Childbirth may be the final stage of being pregnant, but it’s also the first chapter of a whole new experience. Little did I know that everything to follow, from sleepless nights to baby blues and postpartum depression, would be a tumultuous journey. But the most difficult aspect of this period for me was something completely different. Since we had the baby, there would be visitors coming in, and most of them had their bit of wisdom to share on motherhood and childbirth. During this time, I had to deal with people who were not only unsupportive but also quite rude on certain occasions. Here are the different kinds of visitors that I had to put up with:
The Discouraging Ones
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These were guests who always had something negative to say about me every time they dropped by. There would be a funny comment about how my belly was hanging out or how I could never look the same as before because of the C-section delivery. One of the things someone told me was that if I had another child, my stomach would be touching my knees. They simply had no consideration for how I would feel hearing these comments.
The Sympathetic Ones
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These visitors came with only one agenda in mind. Because I had faced a rough delivery, they felt obliged to shower me with sympathy that was uncalled for. I could not give birth naturally, and somehow that made me weak and pitiful in their eyes. So no matter what came out of their mouth, there was an underlying tone that made me feel helpless about my condition even though I had previously believed that there was nothing wrong with me.
The Self-important Ones
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These people simply could not stop talking about how in their time, everyone gave birth naturally and how the current generation was failing to do the same. They were also firmly set on why I had a difficult pregnancy. According to these visitors, my body was not flexible enough to allow the baby to pass through, and that I had not done sufficient physical work, which added to the problem.
The Loving Ones
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These were people who could not see me going through pain and tried their best to make me feel comfortable when I was on bed rest. Everything was handed to me in my place, and this included my baby. These people were my mom, my mother-in-law, and of course, my husband, who was my rock through it all.
The Caring Ones
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These visitors helped me get through the most difficult period of my life. They were there to offer support, love, and strength both in person and virtually. These people shared information about dealing with stress, managing sleepless nights, and overcoming baby blues. They included my friends and a few colleagues that I had been close to.
It was the loving and caring visitors that took my hand and helped me sail through this stormy phase that I had found myself in. Somehow their presence and encouragement kept me going through it all. So if you are a mother, I want to remind you that you are capable of immense strength and persistence because you have already made it through so many ups and downs involved in pregnancy.
If you have encountered discouraging people who offer you unnecessary sympathy and make you feel small about yourself, remember that not one of these people has gone through what you underwent. Your experience is your own and cannot be defined or limited by anyone else, no matter who they are.
