365 Days Of Being A Mother

We often hear phrases like motherhood is the most amazing thing to happen to you and babies are a bundle of joy. I am a mom, and I can tell you right now it’s farthest from the truth. People like to paint a pretty picture and sugarcoat things when it’s anything related to motherhood or parenting. Or maybe some women are better off at it or have a different experience than others. Sure, you could sail through the first year of postpartum when you’ve aced breastfeeding and have a baby who likes to nap a lot. But for others, things can go wrong soon after birth. You can end up having an episiotomy, soon after which you learn that your baby isn’t latching properly. And just when you learn how to breastfeed, you are left with low milk supply.

For me, motherhood was exhausting! I love my baby to death and I would do anything for him, but being a mother can also make you weep like a baby. You are constantly tired in the first few weeks after childbirth. Your nether regions feel like a warzone, your breasts are always sore, your baby is yet to latch properly, and you’re always sleep-deprived.

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When I was pregnant, I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t let motherhood overpower me. I would be one of those supermoms who bounce back to their pre-pregnancy bodies by working out and eating healthy soon after birth. I was confident I wouldn’t struggle with breastfeeding since I enrolled myself in a few breastfeeding classes during pregnancy. I believed I knew everything there is to know about nursing a baby. But turns out, taking a class and nursing a real baby are completely different things. It can help you feel a bit more prepared, but you ain’t seen nothing until you have a fussy infant sucking on your engorged breasts. I was also dead set on prioritizing my sleep after giving birth.

But destiny had other plans for the both of us. Between diaper changes, spit-ups, breastfeeding, and putting my baby to sleep, I felt like a zombie. Whenever I hit the sack and decided to take a power nap, my mind would refuse to shut down and I would just lay there desperately hoping to fall asleep. Whoever said sleep when the baby sleeps clearly never had a baby.

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After 12 weeks of struggling, I finally found a rhythm that worked for the both of us. Breastfeeding no longer felt like a painful and uncomfortable experience. My baby now had a more stable sleep pattern, which allowed me to get some shut-eye. My body had recovered completely from the aches and pains of childbirth. Slowly but surely, things were starting to look up.

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As my little one grew older and began moving around, things got a little challenging. You have to always stay alert, make sure they don’t eat a lizard, or burn themselves somehow. You start to miss the newborn days and the subtle, sweet smell of your baby’s head.

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The transition from being a pregnant woman to a mother is a huge one. And the one thing that made it easier for me is learning to let things go. Because no matter how much you plan and prepare yourselves, it won’t go according to plan. But things have a way of working out on its own. Once we stop questioning every decision we make and stop worrying and comparing ourselves to other moms, our journey will go a lot smoother.

When I look back, the 365 days after giving birth seems more like a blur. But it has definitely taught me to cherish every moment I get with my son. I have also learned to be less hard on myself when things don’t work out the way I had hoped.

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