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Being a parent is known to be one of the toughest jobs in the world and there’s a good reason why. After all, you are responsible for the wellbeing of your kids from the day they are born. You need to ensure that they are self-sufficient but still amiable. And that’s hard to do when, just like any other job, there’s room for error and mistakes. Parents are human beings too after all, and they can slip up and do or say the wrong thing from time to time. And although it’s okay as long as you learn from these mistakes, it’s also just as important to prepare for these pitfalls so that you can better avoid them. So, if you want to know what mistakes to avoid making for the benefit of your kids, then this is the article for you. Keep reading!
1. Making Decisions For Your Child
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A huge part of being a self-sufficient adult is learning to make sound decisions. And this isn’t a magic trick that suddenly appears on your 18th birthday. It’s a skill that must be nurtured from a young age. Sure, that doesn’t mean that you are not involved in your kid’s life at all. The key is to help your child learn to make good decisions gradually by guiding them. You can start off by listing out a couple of good options and allowing them to choose. It could be something as simple as what shoes they wear or the snack they eat. Anything to help them exercise some autonomy and decision making skills. This is also when you teach them how to break down a situation so that they can make well informed decisions and work on their reasoning abilities. Remember, your job as a parent is to raise them to be independent, not to raise them to be dependent on you.
2. Letting Your Child Off The Hook In Terms Of Responsibilities
If your child wants to exercise their autonomy like an adult, they need to learn to take up responsibilities like one too. These responsibilities or chores don’t have to be extensive and draining. They can be age appropriate and fun. But your child needs to learn how to contribute in some way from an early age. This will help them be better adults who are good at multitasking and know how to take care of themselves and their environment. You are not doing your child a favor by sparing them these chores and responsibilities. It is perfectly possible to have a fun filled childhood and learn to be efficient at the same time.
3. Compensating For The Other Parent
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We’ve all heard of the good cop, bad cop game, where one parent is on your side and the other one is strict and rigid. But this little routine never helps in the long run as the child starts to favor one parent over the other. This can also negatively affect the relationship that your child forms with your partner and be detrimental to your goal of forming a healthy family dynamic. When you play good cop and bad cop, you and your partner compromise on each other instead of simply discipline and teaching your child to reach an agreement with the two of you. Showing your little one that you are a team and a tight unit is crucial. No one wins when they perceive one parent to be a bully and the other to be just as helpless as they are. So, instead of compensating and setting each other back as parents, talk about your difference in parenting styles and come to a conclusion before you discuss things with your child.
4. Ignoring Learning Disabilities And Other Problems
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Be it physical or psychological, it’s important to come to terms with the fact that your child may be challenged or need more help in certain areas than others. Being in denial of your child’s condition, whatever it may be will not resolve the issue. Many parents think their kids are just lazy and unmotivated when in fact they are trying their hardest in school and may be suffering from an undiagnosed learning disability or some other issue that is yet to be rectified. The first thing you need to do as a parent is trust your child when they tell you that something is wrong or that they are trying their best. And then seek out professional help. With the right diagnosis and a little extra attention, your child will thrive instead of struggle.
Being a parent can be daunting, especially when there are so many things that you can mess up accidentally. But at least now you know to guard yourself from making these major mistakes and ensure that your child never faces the negative consequences of them.
