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Parenting is wonderful. It gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment each time I look at my little one. Parenting, like they say, is a full-time job, and I couldn’t agree more. But having said that, there is no denying that parenting is tough. In addition to this full-time job that I cannot possibly resign (nor do I want to), I also have to focus on the job that pays my bills. Juggling between work and home is not an easy task. On the one hand, I wanted to always be there for my child, but on the other, I wanted to excel at my job as well. To be great at my job, I sometimes had to let parenting take the backseat and to be a better mother, I sometimes found myself ignoring the tasks I had to complete at work.
The initial years of parenting were the toughest. I was a working mother, and as much as I liked my job, I was constantly worried about my child. Each time we had a meeting scheduled for the last minute, I would get anxious, as I knew that the meeting would go on for hours. This meant more time away from my child. One thought that constantly rose to the surface was — I need to put on a brave front before my colleagues and keep my parenting separate from work.
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As parents, we have been told to keep our personal life at home, and our professional life at work. Interchanging the two was a strict no. This worked to an extent for me until I had my first child. Once I became a mother, there was no question of drawing a line between work and home. In the beginning, I saw this as a sign of weakness — how could I be a good mother and a good employee? It seemed impossible. But the answer is, I can. But to get there, society will have to change its mindset too. I realized that as parents, we need to be louder about parenting at work. We need to normalize the fact that it is crucial to get to work on time, but on some days, your child can fall sick, and it is okay to get to the office a little late.
Many mothers, including myself, tend to hide the difficulties of motherhood and parenting as soon as we step into work. Somewhere along the way, we have learned that acknowledging your duties as a mother might negate your role as an employee. To turn this around, you and I need to understand that mothers are the strongest people on earth. We carry a lot on our shoulders, and this cannot be discounted. The fact that you are on your work desk worrying about your child does not make you weak.
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I believe that people on the top of the ladder should be the loudest about their parenting. They are the leaders, after all. The rest of the workforce tends to emulate their leaders. When a boss tells you, “I need to take the day off tomorrow, it is my child’s annual day celebration, and I need to be there”, it paves the way for the rest of the workforce to feel comfortable about their parenting as well. This sets the right precedent for parents and those who do not have children. It sets the tone that work-life is important, but so is family/personal life, and there has to be a balance between the two. Being loud about parenting isn’t just limited for mothers. Fathers also need to help normalize the fact that they have children and they are important.
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Lastly, you and I need to blow our trumpets loud and clear. Given the pandemic especially, work-life balance has slipped into the shadows. We’re going to have plenty of moments where our child’s laughter is heard in the background right when we have our daily catch-up with the team (thank God for the mute button!). Or they run into your arms right in the middle of a meeting. There have also been moments when I have had to let my husband take over the parenting as I had a strict deadline to meet. And that’s okay. There’s no need to freak out about it. You are a parent, and you don’t have to hide it. What are your thoughts on parenting and how do you feel about work-life balance? Do let us know what you think in the comments below!
