Image: Shutterstock
We all want what’s best for our kids and would do anything to ensure that they grow up to be happy and successful people. But sometimes parents can be a bit harsh unintentionally. It’s important to pay attention to what you say to your kids as they absorb everything you do and say. So, even throwing around seemingly harmless phrases that you’ve heard your own parents use may have long lasting negative effects that you didn’t see coming. Even though you may not think it’s a big deal, it can be for your kids. And the little phrases you use to motivate them might actually be what’s holding them back. Although, it’s hard to keep a track of what not to say, here’s a list that will help you remember all the things you shouldn’t say to your child.
1. Don’t Make Me
Image: Shutterstock
Every parent has used this threat at least once or twice to get their kids to cooperate. The only problem is that they seldom follow through. And the older your children get, the easier it is for them to catch on to what you’re doing. Meaningless threats only last for so long so your kids won’t take them seriously after a while. So, if you promise to do something then make sure you follow through when your child doesn’t budge.
2. Why Do I Have To Repeat Myself A Hundred Times
Image: Shutterstock
Probably because you’re talking to a little child. We’ve all heard this line throughout our childhood. The problem is that it doesn’t pose an actual question. It’s just a way for parents to complain about having to repeat themselves to their children when they don’t understand or aren’t paying attention to them. Instead of this ask them what they have difficulty understanding or why they are not paying attention to you. This will save you a lot of time and energy.
3. You’re The Smartest
Image: Shutterstock
While encouraging and uplifting your children is always a good thing, overdoing it and filling their head with an unrealistic perception of their own skills and limitations can be detrimental to them in the long run. Praising your children only for qualities such as good grades can condition them to think that their self worth and self esteem is attached to how successful they are. Instead praise them for working hard and taking initiative. If you constantly tell your children they are gifted they will lose their interest to study or work hard. This eventually makes them lose the motivation to achieve their parents’ desires.
4. Hurry Up And Get Ready
Image: Shutterstock
This is a common one that you probably thought had no consequences. But you need to understand that little children don’t have a grasp on the concept of time. So asking them to hurry up won’t do the trick. In fact, all it does is make them stressed out and anxious. And you do not want to deal with an anxious 5 year old! It’s best to be specific and give them detailed instructions. Children like structure so telling them to executive a set of steps will work much better.
5. I Know You Didn’t Mean To Hurt Them
Image: Shutterstock
Yes, your child did. As hard as it is to admit, kids don’t really understand the repercussions of hurting people and so they do, on purpose. They also experience strong negative emotions like adults do and we must not discount that. Kids don’t have a grasp on their emotions, yet so sometimes they lash out while blindly following their instincts. And this makes them feel good at the moment because it is an outlet. So, don’t use this phrase as an excuse for your kids. Instead, teach them how to control and redirect their negative emotions in healthy ways.
6. I Don’t Know How We’re Going To Pay All These Bills
Image: Shutterstock
Not every family is in a financially secure place. Maybe you and your partner are going through a rough patch. But whatever it is, don’t get your little kids involved in the drama surrounding money. They should not be overwhelmed with dealing with your financial problems at an early age. If you can’t afford to buy them something they want, just tell them it will come with time instead of berating them for asking for it while you are struggling to make ends meet. Not being financially stable is frustrating but make sure not to take it out on your kids. After all, it’s not their fault and they can’t do anything to help the situation. Instead, teach them how to be content with what they have.
Parenting is never easy and it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn and move on from them. Make sure to never use these phrases on your kids to ensure that they don’t suffer the consequences of their negative implications. Is there something we’ve missed out on? Let us know in the comments section!
