We all want what’s best for our kids and would do anything to ensure that they grow up to be happy and successful people. But sometimes parents can be a bit harsh unintentionally. It’s important to pay attention to what you say to your kids as they absorb everything you do and say. So, even throwing around seemingly harmless phrases that you’ve heard your own parents use may have long lasting negative effects that you didn’t see coming. Even though you may not think it’s a big deal, it can be tough for your kids. And the little phrases you use to motivate them might actually be what’s holding them back. Although it’s hard to keep track of what not to say, here’s a list that will help you remember all the things you shouldn’t say to your kids. Read on to know them all.
1. You’re Being Ridiculous
Maybe you don’t use this phrase word for word but the sentiment is the same. Sometimes kids can get very upset over something small and although it may seem like they are making a big fuss to an adult, that may be something your child genuinely cares a lot about. And telling them that they are overreacting, or that it’s not a big deal isn’t helping the situation. For children, adults are the ones they can turn to, to validate their feelings and experiences. So when you say that they are ridiculous or wrong, it makes them feel like they and their feelings are not important. If you can’t understand why your child is crying over one of their fries falling on the floor or a crayon breaking, allow them to cry it out and then talk to them about it. Your aim is not to make sure that they stop themselves from feeling upset, this just isn’t possible. It’s how to deal with emotions when they are upset. Once they master this they will be unstoppable.
2. Don’t Make Me
If this isn’t the most parent-like phrase you’ve heard, we don’t know what is. Every parent has used this threat at least once or twice to get their kids to cooperate. The only problem is that they seldom follow through. And the older your children get, the easier it is for them to catch on to what you’re doing. Meaningless threats only last for so long so your kids won’t take them seriously after a while. So, if you promise to do something then make sure you follow through when your child doesn’t budge. This will show them that you have follow through and that breaking boundaries truly does have consequences.
3. I’ve Always Hated Blank
Sometimes parents just don’t understand how much their attitude towards something can affect the opinion of their kids. Be it a subject in school you didn’t like, a sport you couldn’t play well or an instrument you struggled to learn, don’t transfer your hate for these things onto your child. The last thing you want is your child to form a negative association with something before they even try it out. Keep your opinions to yourself so that your child can have an unbiased experience and make up their own minds. Who knows, your child may be gifted in the instrument you could never master or may love the subject you loathed. And they’d be all the better for it!
4. What Is Wrong With You
This is something no parent should ever say to their kids. The last thing you want is for your child to think they are doing something wrong just by existing and being themselves. If, as an adult, a child trusts you when you say that there is something wrong with them, they begin to believe it. And they might think that they need to alter themselves to fit in in some form or the other when their behavior is just that of a normal child. So, no matter how frustrated or angry you are, don’t say these words.
5. What Are We Going To Do About Money
Not every family is in a financially secure place. Maybe you and your partner are going through a rough patch. But whatever it is, don’t get your little kids involved in the drama surrounding money. They should not be overwhelmed with dealing with your financial problems at an early age. If you can’t afford to buy them something they want, just tell them it will come with time instead of berating them for asking for it while you are struggling to make ends meet. Not being financially stable is frustrating but make sure not to take it out on your kids. After all, it’s not their fault and they can’t do anything to help the situation. Instead, teach them how to be content with what they have.
Parenting is never easy and it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn and move on from them. Make sure to never use these phrases on your kids to ensure that they don’t suffer the consequences of their negative implications. Happy parenting!