Research-backed
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Being a new parent comes with its set of challenges. Your life takes a shift from socializing, date nights, couples outings, and your wild nights in bed to sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and increased responsibilities. As new parents, you spend all your time with your little munchkin who has come into your life and made it brighter. Your date nights are forgotten, your picnics become trips to the pediatrician, and you stay up all night to ensure your baby sleeps well. No time to do the dirty, go on vacation, or socialize with your friends.
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This shift in lifestyle can sometimes be overwhelming to new parents. Because as much as you love your little bundle of joy, you also miss your carefree days. You have the responsibility of a new baby on your hands, and you cannot afford to slack. Some parents might take this very hard. Especially the dads. They have suddenly lost their old life, one that was filled with romance and excitement. Endless duties and responsibilities now replace that life. Plus, they also miss the attention they used to get from their wives, whose primary focus has now become the baby.
What You Didn’t Know About New Dads
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After childbirth, most moms experience a jumble of mixed emotions. From joy and excitement to fear, anxiety, and even depression, new moms experience postpartum baby blues that last up to months after childbirth. Postpartum depression is a complication of childbirth and can happen to anyone. It results in loss of sleep, loss or increase of appetite, excessive crying, irritability, and energy loss. These moms have a tough time coping with the new lifestyle, but with proper care, they can manage the symptoms and bond with the baby (1). Postpartum depression in women is talked about because it is pretty common. But did you know that new dads experience a version of it too?
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Research showed that dads could experience postpartum depression if their level of testosterone drops considerably. It also revealed that lower levels of testosterone in the fathers might positively affect their partner. However, when there were spikes in the level of testosterone, it impacted the woman negatively. Fathers who experienced increased hormone levels expressed verbal, physical, or emotional aggression towards their partners (2).
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When a new baby is born, the dad’s testosterone levels are affected. They drop deeply, preparing fathers to care for their newborns. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for the characteristics of competing and mating. But when a baby arrives, these hormones reduce as they do not support an offspring’s nurturing. It was not clear if men whose testosterone levels dropped were automatically better fathers, but studies revealed that it benefited their long term health. Single men experienced worse health when compared to married men or fathers (3).
New Parent Reality For Mom Vs Dads
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In general, fathers tend to have fewer close friends than moms. A man depends on his wife for emotional support and strength, while women have other women to bond with emotionally. Moms have groups where they meet other moms who are experiencing the same challenges, which serves as a support system. However, dads do not have such a system set up. They mostly bond with other men on topics related to sports, gyms, bikes, or cars. Men rarely have an emotional connection with another man.
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On the other hand, women share, vent, and rant about their lives with their girlfriends, which provides them with the support they need. Hence, they tend to feel heard more than new dads do. Therefore, when you are new parents, raising your newborn together helps one another. You must lean on each other for support and take care of the other. What are your thoughts on this article? Comment below and let us know.
