If you have been married for a long time now, then chances are you will start taking your partner for granted. It’s easy to slip into that familiar lifestyle that you two have been living for so long and be totally unaware if you are meeting your partner’s needs. We all hope for a relationship where we are loved and appreciated every day, and not just on birthdays and valentines. And just because your partner isn’t vocalizing their needs and desires doesn’t mean they don’t have any, and vice versa. When two people have been living for a decade or longer, either one of them tends to go radio silent about expressing their needs or ways of improving their relationship. But we like to believe that relationship is constant work and just because you tied the knot doesn’t mean that you or the other person has to settle for each other. And you certainly don’t want to be blindsided by divorce. Here we jot down 10 questions that you should definitely ask your partner once a year to keep the spark in your marriage alive.
1. “What Could I Do To Make You Feel More Secure About Our Relationship?”
If your partner is being overly possessive of you, you can also be slightly at fault. Ask your spouse what you can do to make them feel more secure. Spending more time with them, prioritizing them, and loving them are ways you can build trust.
2. “How Can I Make You Feel More Appreciated?”
Showing gratitude even to your spouse can set a positive effect on your relationship. We often tend to take what the other person does for granted whether it is ironing our clothes, cooking meals or even watching a movie that we like.
3. “Are You Happy?”
It’s an important question to ask your partner and not just once a year. And if the answer is no, make sure you get to the root of the cause and help the other person feel better. Patience and understanding is key.
4. “What Could I Do To Make You Feel More Understood?”
You always want to be seen and heard, and so does your partner. And people change over time. So make sure you address all the issues and make them feel understood.
5. “Do You Feel Loved?”
Would you continue to be in a relationship where you don’t feel loved? This question takes precedence over everything else because, DUH! Any marriage could crumble if you don’t feel loved.
6. “Do You Feel Honored/Respected?”
If you are one of those people who think respect is an outdated concept in a relationship, think again. You want to feel respected in a relationship, and so does your partner.
7. “Do You Feel We Don’t Spend Enough Time Together?”
Especially after having kids, couples tend to overlook their role as husband and wife and get busy being mom and dad.
8. “Are You Happy With Our Love Life?”
You can also talk about ways you can spice up your love life or try to find out how you can be more intimately connected with your partner.
9. “What’s Your Idea Of An Ideal Relationship?”
Framing the question this way will help your partner open up about what they want in a relationship. It leaves enough room to talk about their expectations and desires by not being specific about your relationship.
10. “What Would You Consider As A Dealbreaker In A Relationship?”
Don’t assume that you know your partner inside out. While most people cannot forgive even a one-night mistake, a year-long affair might be the only dealbreaker for some. And there are others who consider even harmless flirting as unforgivable. So, it wouldn’t hurt to know what your partner considers as a dealbreaker and why.
These are just a few questions that you can ask your spouse. Feel free to ask more questions to discover more about them and connect at a deeper level.