An unplanned pregnancy cannot be exciting. If you have gone past the first trimester that is supposed to be a bit dreary, then you are alright by the second. By the third, it would depend on how you take your anxiety of approaching the due date. Many moms don’t feel the excitement until the 40th week either. So if you are in the same boat, you don’t have to feel guilty about not replicating what is portrayed on motherhood posters. But not being excited about the arrival of the baby – is this normal? Read on:
1. You are confused:
You are a bit taken aback by what has just happened. The baby arrived with a cry. You had a bit of disbelief. Once the baby is roomed-in with you, it’s natural for you to feel an overwhelming love for it. However, there are women who don’t feel them bonding with the baby instantly. There is a myriad of thoughts racing through their mind. Some women can’t get over the fact that they have endured so much pain. They find it shocking that their body withstood so much. The mixed emotions don’t give you the time to bond with your child.
2. You might have trouble breastfeeding your child:
The first skin-to-skin contact is crucial in bonding the mother and child. But if for some reason the mother doesn’t produce milk or if the baby doesn’t suckle (a rare case), or if the mother has trouble in positioning herself to give the feed, it might have a negative psychological impact on her. It would give her little time to feel the gushing love for her child at once.
It’s never a good idea to be biased towards having a boy or a girl. While you might be guessing (if the revelation hasn’t been made yet) as to what baby you are going to have, the suspense would linger around for until the time of the birth. If your mind is fixed on either wanting a boy or a girl, then a case otherwise could disappoint you.
4. Too much expectation on how your baby should look:
If you are proud of the features you or your spouse have and if your child takes after the one less good-looking, you could still be disappointed. Mothers weave dreams of how their babies must look right after birth. What they don’t realize is that babies metamorphosis gradually, and they turn out to be entirely different from the day of birth. Be it the density of hair, a long nose, or the complexion – it’s all there to change eventually.
5. The comments by visitors:
Most people aren’t rude when they come to see the newborn. But certain inadvertent remarks might be a bit hurtful. You don’t want to hear that your baby resembles someone else in the family tree. To hear that your baby is a replica of you sounds like music to ears!
6. You are scared as a first-time mom:
If you have never had the experience of caring for a baby, it will freak you out. “That’s not the way to hold your baby,” someone would say to the point of embarrassment. It will be worse if you have never held a newborn in your arms before. You are fidgeting most of the time as opposed to being happy!
7. You are supposed to recuperate:
Your body needs to replenish its nutrients apart from parting with a good amount of it for your baby as you nurse it. Continual nursing and staying confined to the mom-baby zone make can choke you – especially if you are the type who is very active and loves being all over the place.
Yes, there are women who don’t fall in love with their children instantly. But that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t. It only takes some time and adjustment to feel the unbound maternal affections for one’s baby. It grows and becomes unconditional. All you need to know is that it’s perfectly normal not to love the child at the first instance.