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We know that older siblings get a lot of slack for being the favorite or the goody two-shoes but there’s a reason that they deserve our respect. Firstborns are special children to their parents as they are the ones who changed their lives forever. You have a special attachment to your first child because they have given you the greatest gift of parenting and continue to light up your life every day. The oldest children are usually said to be the most responsible and reliable according to Adler’s theory, and they are simply someone every parent must have in their life. You might think it’s overrated but here’s why your oldest child or sibling deserves your special respect.
1. They Taught You The Lessons You Missed Out On
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When you have your first child, your whole perspective on life changes for the better. They give you new meaning and purpose and somehow with their birth, you are reborn with them. It’s beautiful, drastic and an incredibly bonding experience. You may not feel this shift again in your entire life, no matter how much you love your younger kids and that’s okay! You’ve had a long journey of making mistakes and learning from them and facing many challenges, side by side with your baby. They are the reason that you have grown and overcome your fears and hurdles when they seemed impossible. While you’ve taught your firstborn a lot, there’s a chance that they’ve taught you more. So it’s completely plausible that you might feel a deeper connection to them.
2. They’ve Grown Up Too Early
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The oldest child is always somewhat stuck in between. They are not adults but they are not exactly treated like a child when their younger siblings arrive. Once the little ones arrive, they are given no choice but to grow up and take responsibility for them by being sensible and reliable. Moreover, they start to hear everyone from their parents to relatives and friends telling them that they are a big kid now and therefore, they can’t afford to be childlike anymore. So, they feel pressured to keep up with the expectations that everyone has for them. Unfortunately, this often means saying goodbye to childhood far too early!
3. They Are Wise Beyond Their Years
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As the eldest child is expected to be smarter and better than their siblings they often end up growing up to become wise and observant. They are also the children that look upto adults the most as they too are tasked with responsibilities. They are stuck between the grown ups and the kids, often serving as a link between the two. Have you ever gone to your older sibling and asked them to convince your parents to let you do something on their behalf? Yeah, that’s not a coincidence.
The reason it probably worked when they asked is because parents seek out the eldest child for support and guidance. They are involved in the discussion of adult problems and end up becoming advisors to their parents as they grow up. This means that your parents trust them a lot more than they trust you, but that trust is earned the hard way. Would you trade places with your oldest sibling?
4. They’re Your Helpers
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Taking care of two or more children is a hard job that requires all hands on deck. This means your eldest usually has to sacrifice alone time and pitch in to make sure that things run smoothly at home. Your firstborn is probably the best nanny or babysitter you can ask for, especially if they are a couple of years older than your younger kids. This means that they are your right hand and are usually there to cover for you with the little ones if you’re running late. Yet another reason you should respect them more.
5. They’ve Got Their Sibling’s Back
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If you’re a younger sibling, you know that no matter how annoying your older sibling may find you, they’ve always got your back. Those shoes that you wanted? They bought you those for your birthday. If you’re struggling in school, they’re there to help with your homework. If you make a mistake or get into trouble, get ready for the best cover story of your life. All your life hacks probably came from your older sibling. So it’s time to give them the respect they deserve. They have not only been your friend but a parent and confidant. Honestly, who could ask for more!
Being the eldest comes with its perks but it’s not all fun and games. The firstborn is often the experiment child and the one that has to suffer through their parents’ trial and error phase for the greater good of their younger siblings. They take on responsibilities that aren’t always theirs to carry and try to make their parents proud. So, respect them for everything they do for you.
