“Mere paas Ma hai”! This iconic dialogue from a classic Bollywood movie aptly sums up the importance that a mother has in her son’s life. However, what happens when this very Ma turns into a Sasu Ma? Why doesn’t she remain the same, loving person instead of turning into a green monster? Is it her insecurities, her possessive nature, or the over-bearing personality that gets the better of her? In short, why does a daughter-in-law have to dread her mom-in-law in the first place?
But wait! Before you start judging me, let me make it clear in the very beginning that I’ve nothing against moms-in-law. I am also not the one who gets swayed by those TV serial cliches either. I’ve grown up believing in equality. This is probably one of the qualities that attracted me to Vivek in the first place. My college sweetheart, who is now my husband of two years, is gentle, suave, and a mature guy who believes, just like me, that both men and women can do well in any sphere of life. If women can groom their careers, men too are very much capable of running a household on their own. Thus, shattering many a stereotype. But this is a concept that some people, like my Sasu Ma, are yet to understand. So, here are a few things I’d like to remind her:
Your Son DOES Need Privacy – Especially In The Bedroom! Agreed, you’ve seen your son in all his natural glory since childhood. And, you’ve probably never felt the need to knock on the door before entering his room. But, now that he is married, please realize that he shares this space with his wife. Not that you can’t enter the bedroom at all. But, can you please knock the door instead of just barging in? Especially at 2 am? And what’s the whole fuss if it’s locked from inside??
Yes, He Cooked His Own Meal. For Himself. So What?? I’m not going to question why you didn’t let your son enter the kitchen. It’s a choice you made. However, your ‘little’ son is an independent man now who has lived in hostels and done his own thing – including cooking. And no, I didn’t take a vow in my wedding that I’ll be his official cook for a lifetime! He can do his own meals. And can throw in an extra dish for me as well!
You Know Your Son Well. And He Knows You Too! Remember that day when we were heading for a dinner-movie date for our anniversary? Yes, the very day when you started an unnecessary ‘you-don’t-spend-enough-time-with-me’ melodrama just before we left? That day, your son didn’t cancel the date because he was guilty. He did so because he loves you! He knows you and your melodrama too very well. He knows your insecurities and where they stem from. Probably even your jealousy. So, please value him for it and give him his due space.
Your Son Is Fine With Having A Daughter. Please Accept This!!! Just like you, we too are eager to start a family soon. But stop drilling it in his mind all the time that it has to be a boy. A boy who will carry his name and family reputation further. Your son is equally chilled about having a daughter. Boy or a girl, they’ll make their own name and reputation. Just like your son and I made ours.
Let Him Go Off Your Pallu And He’ll Stay With You – Longer! – Finally, you’ve been a great mom in your own way. You’ve made a fine man out of your ‘little’ son. He’s sensitive, mature, and loves you to the hilt. Both of us have a different place in his life. So, be proud of what you’ve achieved. Be proud of yourself. Let go of your insecurities. Untie your son from your pallu. He’ll go nowhere. He’ll always remain your loving son!