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As your child grows and develops into their own person, parents are bound to get into disagreements with them. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs, and irrespective of how conscientious and level-headed caregivers try to be, complications inevitably arise due to mistakes. After all, parents are humans too, and all humans make errors. So, sometimes, it’s parents who need the time out. Although there is no instruction manual on parenting as every child, parent, and family dynamic is different, there are certain behaviors and actions parents can and should avoid.
This article discusses the most frequently committed parenting mistakes to educate you on what not to do. It is important to keep in mind that all parents are susceptible to employing one or more of these practices, but as long as you acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them, you and your kid are on the path to a healthy and meaningful relationship.
1. Expecting Behavior That You Don’t Exhibit
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Parents are great at doling out advice on how their child should navigate certain situations, society, and themselves. Irrespective of whether they are suggesting ways to compose themselves while struggling, giving them tips on how to treat others, or warning them from indulging in harmful or rebellious behavior like smoking cigarettes, it will make no difference if they don’t lead by example. Instead of simply telling your child what and what not to do, show them. Children often mimic the behaviorisms of their parents, so it is in your best interest to practice what you preach.
2. Fighting Your Child’s Battles
We get it, you’re protective of your baby. What parent isn’t? But it’s important to note that learning to cope with stressful situations and unpleasant or unplanned scenarios is a major part of your child’s development. Learning that actions have consequences is an important lesson for them to learn. This will impact how they interact with other people and their environment. Finding a way for your child to dodge consequences and fighting their battles for them causes more harm than good as it stifles their growth. Instead, give them the chance to resolve the situation by themselves and with the assurance that they will come to you if they need help.
3. Mistaking Quantity For Quality Time
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Most parents are around their children every spare moment they get. Once they get home from work, they are bombarded with taking care of their kids’ schedules. For instance, dropping and picking them up from after-school activities, preparing dinner, and other duties that require attention. It is easy to assume that because you and your child are in close proximity, they are receiving the attention that they crave from you. Unfortunately, this isn’t necessarily true. Most children feel neglected as their parents are always distracted doing other chores. Sitting down with them for at least 30 minutes a day and showing an interest in their lives can make a huge difference.
4. Neglecting Your Partner
Raising a child can be complicated and time-consuming. One of the most common mistakes couples make is investing all their energy in their child and disregarding their relationship with each other. Remember that your child is an addition to your family and not a replacement for your partner. Investing time in bonding with your partner and establishing a healthy and happy living environment will do wonders for your child.
5. Neglecting “Me” Time
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It is easy for parents to get overwhelmed and caught up between juggling a career and taking care of the kids and their partners. But are you taking care of yourself? One of the best things you can do for your child is schedule time for yourself every day. Whether it’s making yourself a cup of tea every morning and enjoying it undisturbed or reading for 15 minutes in the evening, this “me” time allows parents to unwind and cope with the pressures of parenting without getting worked up and frustrated. Although this may seem counterintuitive, you can only hope to take care of your little ones if you learn to care for yourself. Putting yourself first may be the best thing for your children.
6. Restricting Your Child’s Freedom
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It is crucial to give your children room to be independent and experimental as they grow. Like all things, this will take time and can happen in stages. You needn’t give them free rein over everything all at once. After all, children still need to be taken care of and disciplined. But allowing them small freedoms and enabling them to discover and explore their surroundings by themselves is as important as protecting them. Of course, they can still do this while you keep an eye on them from a distance.
7. Yelling At Your Child
All parents lose their cool and yell at their children sometimes, but using it to communicate and discipline your child will help neither party. In the moment, it may feel like raising your voice will bring the point home and help your child take you more seriously, but it only makes them more anxious and scared to make mistakes. They may also start keeping things from you out of the fear of getting scolded again, which will worsen your relationship.
Parenting is challenging, and the way you parent may differ from one child to another. All children are receptive to different things, but it is important to keep in mind that there are some things that you shouldn’t do for the benefit of your kids.
