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”Sexy” is perhaps the last thing you feel after delivering a child. Sore and prickly is how your body feels after the laborious experience. That said, childbirth does not put an end to your sexual life. You can certainly enjoy the sensual pleasures with your partner, but while exercising some caution. If you want to hit the sack to have a good time, you should be ready for it – both physically and psychologically. Keep reading to know more about having sex after childbirth.
1. Take Your Time
Doctors usually recommend that you have sex four to six weeks after giving birth because that is the time the wound in your uterus needs to heal (1). That is also the time it takes for the bleeding to stop after you give birth vaginally or through C-section. Even if you and your partner feel the urge to have sex before that period, do not rush into it before the wound heals and the bleeding stops completely, lest you risk getting an infection (2).
Listen to your body and set the pace for your sexual activities based on it. But being physically ready is not enough to make the experience a pleasurable one. You need to be emotionally ready too.
2. Plan
For a while, after your little bundle of joy arrives he or she will keep you busy. You may not think of indulging in any sexual activity for weeks, but your husband may be ready for it right after you come home. To ensure that both of you are on the same page, it is important to talk about it.
With the baby around, it is important to plan your ‘personal’ time with your partner. Planning will organize your time so that you don’t have to stop the intercourse midway to feed a hungry baby!
3. Sex May Not Be The Same As Before
You and your partner may have had amazing, maybe even wild, sex before you gave birth. Expecting to feel the same way could only result in disappointment. Giving birth is nothing less than having a ‘mini’ explosion inside your body. Childbirth can also leave you with a sore and stretched vagina, albeit temporarily. Because of this, sex after childbirth may not be as pleasurable or fun as it was before the baby.
Pelvic exercises are recommended to bring back your vagina into shape and make it stronger for a more pleasurable experience.
4. Sex Can Be Uncomfortable, And Even Painful
Sex can hurt, but the pain that it can cause after childbirth is not the kind associated with pleasure. Vaginal dryness and hormonal changes post birth can make the act uncomfortable or painful. Lubricants should ease the pain caused due to a dry vagina. But if that doesn’t help, and if pain or discomfort persists several months after giving birth, it is important to see a doctor. Talk to your partner about the changes you are going through and why you should wait rather than rush into having sex.
5. You Feel Less Attractive
Pregnancy changes your body in many ways. A bloated belly and leaky breasts don’t feel very sexy. These changes lead to how you look at yourself – you may worry that you aren’t attractive enough for you partner. The best way to deal with such fears is to talk. Tell your partner about your concerns, and you’re likely to find that he does not share your thoughts.
6. Leaky Breasts Can Cause Discomfort
When you are nursing a baby, you are likely to have tender and leaky breasts. This can create discomfort during intercourse. One way to avoid this situation is to have sex after a feeding when your breasts aren’t full or sore.
7. Find The Right Position
The time taken for women to heal after childbirth depends on the type of birth they have had. If you’ve given birth vaginally, you are likely to feel tired and exhausted for a few days. As there aren’t any cuts that need to heal, your recovery after natural childbirth would be faster when compared to a C-section. In any case, taking it slowly and gently at the beginning can prevent uncomfortable sensations in the body.
If you gave birth by C-section and have stitches, you may take longer to heal. To stay safe, you may want to try positions that do not put any pressure on the stitches.
8. Find Alternatives To Pleasure Each Other
Sometimes, you may not be ready for a full intercourse until after a few months. That is not abnormal, considering the multitude of changes your body is going through after giving birth. If you aren’t ready, tell your partner about it. Sex is not the only way to get intimate with each other. Explore other options. Start by spending time and relaxing with each other. A cuddle is a good place to begin with, followed by mutual masturbation and oral sex before a full penetration intercourse.
While oral sex may be a good alternative, experts do not encourage cunnilingus until a few months after birth, as it may put the new mom at risk (3).
9. Use Contraception
Unless you are ready to have another baby before your first child turns one, it is best to use contraception. You can start ovulating just 25 days after you give birth if you are not breastfeeding. Understand that breastfeeding isn’t the most reliable contraceptive. So using a condom, a vaginal ring or an oral contraceptive is highly recommended when you have sex after childbirth.
Ideally, you should not take oral contraceptives with estrogen and progestin until at least three weeks after you have given birth naturally, and at least six weeks after you have given birth by C-section (4). To stay safe, do speak with your doctor before taking any oral contraception.
10. Privacy
A lot of couples are not comfortable having sex when the baby is in the same room. To be frank, your baby won’t mind or even care if you get intimate with her around. But if you are still not comfortable, have a babysitter or a family member watch the baby while you get some alone time with your partner.
The bottom line is that sex has to be a pleasurable activity, not a painful one. While minor pain is normal during sex after childbirth, too much of it should ring alarm bells. Seek medical advice, talk to your partner and take precautions to let sex be what is should be – a sensual pleasure!
