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Marriage is one of the most life-changing decisions for a person. You not only share your life, but also share your personal space with another person. And, in a country like India, where joint families and arranged marriages thrive, you also share your families. This is where a mother exits, and a mother-in-law enters a woman’s life. The love-hate relationship between the two is like an unsolved mystery. If you are unsure of your mother-in-law’s feelings for you, here are 5 signs that’ll help you decide if she probably hates you:
1. She Dislikes Your Dressing Sense
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From the word go, your mother-in-law has a problem with the way you dress. From the depth of your necklines to the length of your hemlines, almost anything or everything you wear is inappropriate for her. Ditto for your make up and hair. She may give you alternate style lessons, which will make you believe in theory of evolution, but only in the reverse order. And no, it is not due to the generation gap.
2. Constant Comparisons to Other Women
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The neighbor’s girl, her sister’s/brother’s daughter, her older son’s wife or practically every other woman in your mother-in-law’s contact list, now become a benchmark for comparison. From the wedding gifts your family presented her, the food at your reception, to the size of the engagement ring, your mom-in-law will not let go of any opportunity to remind you of the ‘supreme sacrifice’ she made to accept you as her daughter in law. She’ll also go to the extent of telling you how she was an epitome of a perfect daughter-in-law herself!
3. The Ultimate Cook-Off
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You may pride yourself for your culinary skills, which may perhaps be of Masterchef standards, but you are still a minion for your mother-in-law. Whatever you cook at home, trust your mom-in-law to find faults with your cooking, no matter how minute the error. And if you’ve dared to try and cook up a real storm (pun intended) by perfecting your husband’s favorite dish, might we say that’s perfect recipe for disaster!
4. The Tug-O-War
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This one is actually a no-brainer. Ever wondered how your mom-in-law sprains her ankle when you’ve just planned a weekend out with your husband? Or the guests arrive when both of you are enjoying a cup of coffee alone at home? Whenever your husband tries to give you quality time, at the very moment, your mother-in-law needs him around too. The thought of both you together give her a feeling of alienation. So, the next time your mom-in-law whines to her son about not spending enough time with her, you know where that’s coming from.
5. Time Out With Your Parents
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After enduring your mother-in-law’s quirks for a while, you finally feel a wave of relief when you plan to visit your parents. However, to cut short your happiness, quite literally, your mother-in-law sets a time limit for your visit. You may visit your parents often, but the duration will be shortened to a day or two. This might also be because your mother-in-law assumes that you may complain about her to your parents, especially after hearing similar experiences of her peers.
If any of these signs remind you of your mother-in-law, it’s time you started to work on your relationship with her. All the so-called hate stems from the fact that she’s insecure to let go of her lovely son, who is now yours. So, don’t hesitate to be the first one to offer the olive branch. After all, she’s a “mother”-in-law, not a monster!
