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Proctor and Gamble hosted the #WeSeeEqual summit, which was attended by many renowned personalities, including Soha Ali Khan and Kunal Khemmu. This celebrity couple took part in the key session – ‘Shaping Today’s Generation For An Equal Tomorrow’, where they shared their views on gender-neutral parenting and equal parenting. Read on to know how these celebrities view parenting and its struggles and how they are working together to bridge the gaps.
On Parenting
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For Soha and Kunal, raising kids outside the boundaries of gender specificity is important. According to them, parents should not discriminate amongst kids by saying boys do this or girls should wear this. Instead, parents should let the kids decide what color they like or what toys they want to play with. This is because, while raising children, it is important to allow them to do what they enjoy. That way, they are better positioned to accept themselves and not believe they are different based on gender.
They further elaborated that children will learn about the anatomy and physical difference between a girl and a boy at school. Parents should also answer any questions about that instead of shying away, which helps to prevent portraying specific topics as taboo.
On Gender Equality
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According to Soha, gender equality is a scenario that has no rules specific to men and women. A woman is as important in the workplace as a man in the kitchen. They have tried to implement this thought in their parenting style. For example, they have eliminated gender roles from their lives and share parenting as an equal responsibility where there are no tasks that are defined by gender. Instead, they have divided their activities with Inaaya, their child, as per their likes rather than gender. Like she enjoys taking Inayaa to the boot camp and reading out her bedtime stories, while Kunal has taken on the cooking part since both father and daughter share a similar taste for food. This ultimately leads to Inayya seeing them as equal partners who share every responsibility devoid of gender-based roles.
On Balancing Fame And Parenting
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When it comes to fame and parenting, they like to keep them separate. Instead, they focus on Inaaya by trying to understand her needs. They follow a system in which they hear her out entirely before deciding to say a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ as this helps them make an informed decision. They also give her plenty of healthy choices, which helps reduce the number of times they have to say ‘no’ because according to them it is liberating and empowering for a child to hear a ‘yes’ more often than a ‘no’.
But Kunal also highlights that certain things are non-negotiable with him, like allowing Inaaya to miss her bedtime or indulging her with desserts and treats. This is because he feels when a child goes to bed on time, they wake up feeling rested and fresh, which ultimately benefits the entire family. Also, healthy food choices in plenty reduce the child’s dependency on junk food, to which Inaaya has adapted herself.
On Helping Children Learn The Right Things At Home
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According to Soha, watching one’s language is a great way to ensure that children are learning the right things at home. This is because she feels that parents often praise a girl for how she looks while rewarding boys for their heroic acts. This ends up in creating gender biases. At their home, they try to bring up Inaaya without such statements. Instead, they consciously avoid taking her to the section with pastel colors or floral prints when out shopping. Instead, they let her choose as per her preference. She further feels that when it comes to tasks, parents should not differentiate based on gender. Boys should be just as encouraged to do dishes as girls to throw away the trash. According to Kunal, since children learn a lot from observing parents, grandparents, and other family members, they should be very careful of what they say and how they behave. One should focus on teaching by example rather than by preaching. Watching your language, controlling your temper, and being careful about what stories you tell them or what books you read to them should be kept in mind when you’re around children.
Parenting Tips From Grandma (Sharmila Tagore)
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Coming to parenting tips from her mother, Sharmila Tagore, Soha said that her mother helped her realize certain mistakes that she was making regarding Inayaa, like finishing off her sentences for her. Once her mother pointed this out based on videos she sent her during the lockdown, she realized that instead of letting Inaaya express her own opinions, she was unknowingly trying to modulate them. Today she lets her daughter speak more, and she listens patiently, which helps her better understand what Inaaya wants.
As you see, this celebrity couple is trying their best to raise their only daughter outside gender-biased roles. If you, too, have any points to share on equal parenting, let us know in the comments section below.
