7 Steps To Deal With Your Child’s Back Talking

A child is always an angel to their parents, till one day, when they discover back talking! The little bundle of happiness for whom you have sacrificed endless sleep is now answering your questions with “duh” and “whatever”. Your first reaction might be full-blown outrage, but that never does any good, does it? However, you cannot ignore the phase, too, as the lack of communication will only create a thicker wall between you and your child. Back-talking is always backed by some emotional turmoil they are going through. Here are some easy steps you can follow to get to the root of the problem and solve the issue behind the behavior. Read on to know it all.

In This Article

Step 1: Don’t Respond In The Same Tone

Dont Respond In The Same Tone
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Maintaining your composure when your child responds negatively might be challenging, but you should still watch your tone. Be a model of respectability in all that you do. It’s not healthy to unleash your inner Hulk with yelling, shouting, or curse words. However, you shouldn’t allow your kid to keep talking back to you either. Establish norms for appropriate conduct. React to the phrases “fine,” “yeah right,” “give me a break,” and “whatever” when you hear them. Tell your kid they need to quit reacting that way and offer them a chance to change. If you want to communicate with your child effectively, avoid phrases like “don’t say it” or get down on their level.

Step 2: Understand The Underlying Issue

Remember that your kid is still developing self-control and may not know how to handle difficult situations just yet. The lack of patience they display is therefore understandable. After establishing boundaries about their tone, it’s essential to seek insight into the source of the issue. When a child acts defiantly, it’s usually because of intense emotions like anger, impatience, hurt, or fear. Make sure you give your children at least 15 minutes of undivided, positive attention every day. Think about what it would be like to be in their shoes.

Step 3: Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings Of Sadness

Acknowledge Your Child's Feelings Of Sadness
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Words like “Ouch!” are recommended by psychologists to be used for communicating grief and pain to your kids. These are clearly intended to be hurtful statements. Say, you are interested in learning more, but you can’t listen if you feel threatened. If your kid is still angry and shouting, propose that you talk about it until you’ve both calmed down.

Step 4: Show The Consequences

Politeness should be modeled for children as something that actually pays off. Nobody should just brush off insults or roll their eyes. Even once you’ve recognized the issue of your child’s bad mood, it may take several reminders before they can change their attitude. Be firm and clear that you will not tolerate disrespect from your child at any moment. “When you choose to talk to me this way, you don’t get to go to your playdate” is an example of a consequence that might be shown by adding more duties or eliminating TV or computer time. The situation will be taken very seriously by them. If your child continues to argue with you, remember to follow through on your word.

Step 5: Encourage Them To Share Their Thoughts

Encourage Them To Share Their Thoughts
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It’s essential to remember that it’s generally positive when kids share their thoughts. However, they need to approach it in a friendly fashion. Also, kids need to realize that they can do this without fear of repercussions. Never interrupt someone who is trying to tell you what they really believe. Instead, hear them out and focus on the nature of the issue they’re describing. You must demonstrate compassion and understanding if you don’t want your youngster to view you as an adversary.

Step 6: Try To Understand Why They Talk Back

This is helpful if you have detected a pattern in your child’s level of disagreement with you. In that case, you should give some serious consideration to the times of day at which such occurrences typically take place. For example, your kid may always seem grumpy when returning home from school. Talking about it may be a way to fix a major issue and prevent even more trouble on the road.

Step 7: Complement Good Behavior

Complement Good Behavior
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Your children are no different from any other people regarding the need to be valued. A hug, a remark, or just a simple “thank you” may go a long way toward teaching your child how much they are appreciated when you notice they are no longer fighting you and are instead displaying thankfulness. In addition, it’s essential to ensure that your kid knows that being nice always gets them what they want.

As parents, it might be challenging to swallow back talks from a child who literally slept in your arms all day, but you have to accept that it is all a part of growing up. Even though this should not be encouraged, it’s a way for them to vent their emotions. At every stage, a child goes through psychological and hormonal changes, and their outward behavior turns to being a rebel and taking back. Hope these steps will help you get to the root of the problem and improve the relationship between you and your kid. Happy parenting!

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