Dear New Moms, Stop Wasting Your Time On Crappy Friends

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There’s this story of a man who got a peculiar text from one of his buddies after the birth of his first child. In the text, his friend congratulated him and said “see you when he’s six.” The man didn’t understand this part of the message until months into fatherhood.

You see, becoming a parent brings drastic changes to every aspect of your life. For moms, in particular, being busy all day becomes a new normal. And, whether you’re a full-time mom or not, it wouldn’t matter. To every mother, busy means the same.

You find yourself unable to socialize as usual because you earmark every free-time you get for rest. But this can be rough on you because you know with time, you’d lose your friends.

In an attempt to keep up, you find yourself going out of your way. Well, before you start to do that, you need to be sure you don’t have crappy friends. Here are the traits true friends must have.

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Honesty

True friends are honest and sincere. Crappy friends aren’t. It’s better to have no friends at all than to have one who is dishonest. You know you have an honest friend when they don’t lie to you about their feelings or talk bad about you in your absence.

When you hurt their feelings, they let you know. They don’t act as though everything is fine only so they can slander you to others behind your back.

You’ll always have disagreements with your friends. But when it happens, you always work through it no matter how difficult. If you have a dishonest friend, you shouldn’t even wait till you become a parent before you stop trying.

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Absolute Acceptance

It’s estimated that there are a total of seven billion people on Earth. It’s impossible for every one of these people to be the same. In reality, we see how dissimilar people are even in our small spaces and groups.

For us to live together and peacefully, we all must learn to accept each other’s quirks and differences. And nothing short of this is expected of friends.

When a person accepts you for who you are, they don’t try to force you into situations that make you uncomfortable. Nor do they try to make you feel guilty about your personality.

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Dependable

Good friends are dependable. The whole point of being a friend is to provide care and support any day or at any time. Sure, there would be days when even your best friend is busy, but you know you can count on them when you’re in real trouble. How do you know a dependable friend? Just imagine the person that comes to mind if you get into a traffic jam and need someone to vent.

True friends never leave you by yourself when you’re in a challenging situation. No matter the level of discomfort they’d face on their part, they will always turn up for you (for the most part). Those are the types of friends for whom you can make an exception.

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Presence

Social media has made it quite easy for everyone to be someone’s “friend”. But in reality, are they? Friends keep up with or without social media.

If you went completely offline, if you deleted all your social media profiles and discontinued your subscription to certain feeds, how many people will still reach out to you? True friends will seek you out no matter what.

They will come around to spend time with you. And this is something that you’d need a lot as a parent as it’d become pretty difficult for you to hang out with friends.

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Ability To Listen

In the real sense of it, no relationship can survive if both parties involved cannot listen. We express ourselves using words and body language to communicate.

When a person is listening to us, we can usually tell. Sometimes, people only listen so they can respond. A true friend hears you out and gives you their entire focus when you speak.

These are the kinds of friends you know you can speak to and feel lighter. As a parent, these types of friends are the ones you want to have around.

Your friends can provide a system of support as you become a parent. And the right support system is crucial when you’re a new parent. The traits discussed in this post can help you identify who’s worthy of your time and attention. But you should know that the type of person you are also determines how people relate with you.