There are several things a couple does to prepare for a baby when they are expecting. You read books and load up on information and talk to experienced parents to know the hacks of dealing with a newborn. You also have a million questions for your doctor during every appointment and are not shy to shoot them one after the other. Apart from all this, you also have to talk about how involved you want your baby’s grandparents to be in their lives. Whether it is your parents or your in-laws, you have to make it clear to them before the baby arrives.
Are you willing to let them teach your baby some of their values? Do you need their support while raising your little one, or do you wish to lay clear boundaries with them on the dos and don’ts of your baby’s upbringing? Whatever you decide, it’s your choice, but you must make it a point to speak to your in-laws about it. Because you don’t want any added stress during your pregnancy and talking with your in-laws beforehand might help with that. Read this article to know more.
Every woman has a different relationship with her in-laws. But the ones who have in-laws who overstep in every moment may cause a lot of friction in the future. They probably have a ton of opinions and unsolicited advice already. Sure, you understand that they are excited to be grandparents and don’t want to shatter their spirit. However, it is imperative that you set some solid boundaries at this time, so they don’t rob you of a pleasant parenting experience with your little one.
Speak to your partner about how you want to have honest and open communication with your in-laws. Approach them as a united front and discuss your expectations, so they know where to draw the line. Let them know that you would love for them to be involved in their grandchild’s life, but some roles are reserved for you and your partner as the parents.
How To Be Supportive?
If you are the in-laws, you’re probably wondering how to be supportive without overstepping or coming off as overzealous. It’s simple. Communicate. Speak to your daughter-in-law and let her know that you’re excited for your grandchild. Let her know that you’re by her side if she ever needs you but don’t push the couple’s boundaries. Here are a few things to remember:
- You might be tempted to offer advice or ask her personal questions about her pregnancy, birthing plans, or how she’s planning to raise your grandchild. Don’t do it. Keep a check on what you ask her, and don’t be intrusive. If your daughter-in-law wants to share something with you, she will.
- There is no denying that you are experienced when it comes to kids. Therefore, offer her your help. She might need you to calm her down when she’s panicking about her birth plan, or she might just need you to tell her that it’s all going to be okay. Sometimes, your daughter-in-law might have extreme morning sickness, and you might be able to help her with some sweet ginger candy. Once the baby arrives, you can even offer to babysit so she can get some time to nap.
- Respect her boundaries. As much as you want to tell her that you’re experienced, and you might know things better, remember that it’s her baby first. If she tells you to wash your hands before holding the baby, do it. Don’t argue and create an unnecessary scene.
You might want to pull the experience card but remember to put yourself in her shoes. Try to remember all the times that your in-laws drove you mad while you were pregnant. The last thing you want is to make your daughter-in-law’s life as a new parent more difficult than it already is. Therefore, make it smooth sailing and enjoy the company of your little one together.