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Throughout your first pregnancy we’re sure you’ve picked up every book and read up on every bit of insight into parenting that you can find. And although you’ve got 9 months to stock up on advice and information, when you’ve got your little one in your arms, you soon realize that you don’t know anything about being a parent at all! And that’s completely okay. No one knows the ins and outs of parenting when it’s their first day at the job. And as your infant grows, you’ll learn to face new challenges with them. Still, it can be quite overwhelming and daunting to go home with a newborn for the first time. So, if you find yourself in this scenario, here are a few things that you absolutely need to know before you start your parenting journey.
1. You Don’t Need To Bounce Back, Ever!
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The notion of going back to who you used to be before you had a baby after going through the process of becoming a mother is completely unrealistic. Not only has your physical form changed, but so has your brain. And so you will mentally, physically and emotionally never be the same. This can be a lot to take in, but it is for the best. Take your time trying to get acclimated to the new you. Having a baby can upend your life as you knew it, and even finding ways to do mundane tasks can be difficult. So, be patient with yourself as you learn to navigate who you are as a person and how motherhood has changed you. It’s okay if you never fit into your favorite jeans. It’s okay if you’re not as carefree as you used to be. Give yourself the space to evolve into someone who is healthy, happy and fulfilled in different ways.
2. Everyone Has An Opinion
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From the great grand-aunt who had 13 children to your 8 year old niece who can’t even spell your baby’s name, everyone is going to have an opinion on what you are doing and give you advice on what they think you should be doing. Block it out! People are going to be judgmental about everything you do as a parent and there is no way you can make them all happy, nor should you strive to. So keep your head down and focus on what you think works for your family. It’s not the end of the world if you choose to formula feed your child or put them in cloth diapers. The bumps on the road will iron themselves out in time, as long as you pay attention to your little one instead of all the voices trying to get between your process.
3. Don’t Ignore Your Parental Instincts
At the end of the day, the baby you bring home is yours. And no matter what anyone says, if you think something isn’t right for them, feel free to remove them from the situation. It doesn’t matter if everyone thinks you’re being dramatic, if you see a mole or a spot that you don’t like, don’t ignore your intuition. It’s better to be safe than sorry when it comes to your child. Remember, you are their parent and spend the most time with them, so if you sense that something is wrong, don’t hesitate to act on it. This can also apply during labor. If you think that something is wrong or doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate to voice these concerns to your doctor or midwife. Who knows, you just might be saving yourself and your baby!
4. Prioritize Yourself
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It doesn’t matter if your child is 10 months old or 10 years old, if you need a break, take one. Learn to prioritize yourself so that you don’t burn out or become frustrated with your kids. Children are needy and it takes a lot of energy to take care of them. It’s okay to make time for yourself throughout the day. Whether that’s 15 minutes in the morning to meditate, a quick evening walk, an uninterrupted shower or a day out with your friends on a weekend. Try to give yourself space to breathe. Have interests and hobbies that don’t involve your kids. As much as we’d like to say that our kids are our whole’s lives, that can be dangerous.
5. Things Don’t Always Go As Planned
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The only thing about parenting you can count on, is to not count on everything going according to plan. Being flexible and amicable to change will make a huge difference when you become a parent. So, if you’re someone who is a little type A, it’s time to get comfortable with the thought of getting messy.
Becoming a parent is a huge step filled with adventures, challenges and insights. And all the daunting unpleasant titbits you hear shouldn’t deter you from trying to be the best kind of parent you can be for your child. At the end of the day, what really matters is making sure that you and your children are happy and healthy.
