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It’s a tough time for couples who are trying to conceive. When a couple starts trying to conceive, it typically takes about a year to succeed. However, that’s not always the case. Some couples have problems conceiving because they may be struggling with fertility issues. It’s not an easy journey for couples who have difficulties getting pregnant, but what’s worse is when they have to listen to people around them say the most insensitive things. Sure, you might be saying well-intentioned things, but what’s the point of it if you’re making them feel worse instead of helping them? Read this article to know what NOT to say to those struggling with fertility issues:
1. “Don’t Worry; It’ll Work Out.”
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How do you know that it will? You might be saying these words to console a disheartened couple, but it causes more harm than good. Because with fertility, you never know what might happen, and assuming that things will work out is the wrong approach. Don’t ever tell a couple trying to conceive that if God wants them to have a baby, it will happen. Just don’t!
2. “Why Don’t You Try A Surrogate?”
If they are struggling with fertility, the chances are that they know their options. They know that surrogacy is one of those options, and they don’t need you telling them that. If you cannot offer words of support, don’t say anything at all. You don’t want to be making the situation worse. Besides, they probably don’t want to try surrogacy because they want to experience pregnancy.
3. “Have You Thought About Adoption?”
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Adopting a baby is great. The world is filled with kids who need a home and a family, and those who adopt kids are doing a noble thing. But it’s up to the couple to make that choice. When they are trying to conceive, don’t suggest adoption to them. They know that the option exists and might be choosing not to do it for their own personal reasons. Don’t be naive by asking them about adoption.
4. Say No To Unsolicited Advice
You might be tempted to give them advice that they didn’t ask for but avoid it. You don’t want to overstep and say the wrong thing to make matters worse for the couple. The best thing to say to a couple who is trying to have a baby is, “If you ever need to talk, let me know”. They don’t need your words of wisdom. Don’t tell them that they have to eat a herb, pray to a certain God or sleep in a specific position. Just stop and mind your own business.
5. “Be Patient; It’ll Happen When It Has To.”
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Would you be patient if you were in their shoes? Something to think about! They have been patient for a long time, but it hasn’t happened for them. They have been seeing their friends around them conceiving after just a few months of trying, so resist the urge to tell them that it’ll happen if it’s meant to be.
6. “Don’t Stress About It.”
When someone is stressed about something, how often do they calm down when you tell them not to stress about it? Probably never. It’s counterintuitive to tell someone not to stress about a stressful situation. Saying things like “Maybe God has a plan”, “I’m glad I’m not in your shoes”, and “I feel bad for you” are possibly the worst things you could say to someone who is struggling with fertility.
7. “Just Relax; It’ll Happen.”
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Don’t tell someone to relax when they are struggling with fertility. It’s a medical condition that needs attention and assistance. You don’t know if it’ll happen, so don’t be obnoxious and tell a struggling couple to relax.
You might not know what to say to a couple who is having difficulties conceiving but saying nothing is better than saying the wrong thing. Watch out and stay attentive about what you say. If you cannot support them and be there for them, don’t say anything at all, no matter how well-intentioned you might be. Do you agree with this article? How many of these statements are you guilty of using? Comment below and let us know.
