Image: Shutterstock
Parenting is not an easy feat. It is a huge responsibility and comes with a lot of challenges. You have to set an example to your kids in everything you do because as much as you teach them life values, they will follow your example rather than listen to your advice. One of the biggest things you learn when you have kids is how to have patience. Amidst work pressures, financial responsibilities, and bringing up your children, you are bound to lose your cool more than once. At that moment, you might say certain things to your kids that can affect their well being. Even though you don’t mean to hurt them or say something that might be detrimental to their development, you can never take back what you say in the spur of the moment. So, here are 5 things you should never say to your kids, no matter what:
1. “Leave Me Alone”
Image: Shutterstock
You might have had a hectic day with your boss yelling at you for not meeting your deadline, or you have passed the last date to pay your loan interest, but shutting a kid down when they come to you is probably one of the most destructive things you can do for them and your relationship with them. Most children are excited to tell you about their day or what they learned in school. But when you ask them to leave you alone, they become closed off and might hesitate to open up to you again. Instead of yelling at them, explain to them calmly that you need some rest and will listen to them later.
2. “Don’t Cry”
Image: Shutterstock
When your kid is upset or angry, they will cry. Do not tell them not to. You are invalidating their feelings when you tell them not to express their emotions. Your child might start to feel like they have to brush off their feelings or suppress them, which could lead to explosive outbursts in the future. It causes more harm than good. Therefore, tell them that it is natural to cry, and it is healthy to express themselves.
3. “Your Life Isn’t As Hard As Mine”
Image: Shutterstock
We have all heard our parents’ stories of how they walked 10 km to get to a shop or studied for exams under street lights or lamp lights. It made us furious because they used that to discount our current struggles. Most parents tend to compare their lives with that of their kids and refute their kids’ struggles. Granted that your kids have it better in some ways, but there are different struggles that they face, which cannot be ignored or swept under the rug. Therefore, refrain from comparing your life to your kids.
4. “Why Can’t You Be Like Your Brother/Sister/Friend?”
Image: Shutterstock
Every child is different, and the sooner you stop comparing one to another, the sooner you’ll be able to understand them better. When parents have kids, they set a certain expectation of how they want them to be and tend to forget that a child is a person. They grow to become their own, and comparing them to a sibling or friend does not help them. It might deter their self-confidence and take a toll on their self-esteem. Focus on your kids’ strengths and encourage them to find what is right for them rather than playing the comparison game.
5. “I Could Do That At Your Age”
Image: Shutterstock
Don’t ever demean your child. Every kid grasps things at a different pace, and it could affect their development if you rush them. Instead of adding pressure on them to “catch up”, give them the time and encouragement they need to learn things at their own pace. Your kids are probably already noticing that they are lagging behind their peers. Therefore, your support could mean the world to them rather than beating them down on their insecurities.
It is not easy to raise a child in this complex world. However, as a parent, you have a responsibility to be the best parent your child could ask for. Even if you have said these things to your child in the past, fret not. Because there is always room to become better parents, and in the long run, your child will appreciate you for it. If you found this article helpful, share it with fellow parents and friends.
