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We all know how a marriage is a union of not only two people, but also two families. While on one hand, you and your husband try to adapt and befriend each other’s respective families, on the other, your family members make an effort to make you both feel at home. And in this scenario, one relationship that always comes with the scanner is the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law equation. While people, in general, are quick to pit a woman against a woman in this situation, not many realize that what actually lies at the core of this so-called conflict is the love for the same man – son to one and husband to another!
A mother-in-law is not someone who is born to hate her daughter-in-law and vice-versa. However, each of us come with a pinch of insecurity, which is quite natural. Here are 5 things that your mother-in-law may feel insecure about, yet she’ll never tell you:
1. Relegated To The Second Spot
Earlier, your mother-in-law was central to everything in the house; the dinner menu, family gatherings or how the house functioned in general, everything was taken care of by her. But now, in your enthusiasm to impress, you end up taking over everything she once enjoyed doing, including cooking your husband’s favorite dish, thereby pushing her to the second spot!
2. Getting Ignored
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Looking out for his mother for everything was your husband’s top activity earlier. Spending time sharing the details of his day with her came naturally to him. Now that he has you by his side, he may not be able to dedicate that much time and attention to his mother, making her feel ignored.
3. Unimportant Opinions
Your mom-in-law was the one whose advice was sought by every family member. Whether it was the kind of school or college your husband would go to, the kind of housemaid to be hired or simply the color of the walls that needed a coat of paint, your mother-in-law’s choice was always spot on! However, as the attention now shifts to your choice and opinion, she’ll begin to feel as if her opinions don’t matter anymore.
4. Unwelcome Gifts
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Every mother-in-law will try and gift something or the other to her new daughter-in-law in reach out to her. But generally, daughters-in-law forget about this gift while the mother-in-law keeps waiting to see if she has liked it. This ends up hurting her feelings and she feels disrespected.
5. Being Too Formal
Every time your mother-in-law visits, you try to on at your best behavior by being extremely polite and not allowing her to do even simple tasks freely. However, you do not realize that in this effort of yours, you give her a feeling of a guest in her own son’s house.
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Now that you know what makes your mother-in-law insecure, you may make a few changes in your approach towards her to mend some broken bridges.
- To begin with, whenever you take decisions at home, try to make it a group decision where your mother-in-law’s opinions are taken into consideration. Not only that, try to implement some of them. This will make her feel important and respected again.
- Help your husband balance some interactive time between both of you so your mother-in-law does not feel lonely or insecure.
- If there is something she has gifted you and you haven’t used it in a while, try to use it at least once in her presence to appreciate her gesture.
These simple acts of yours will go a long way in creating a harmonious relationship between you both.
