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For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish…
Yep. We get the idea.
However, there are some things your partner just can’t take for granted and ask you to endure. No matter what tradition may demand a relationship to reconcile with, there are some things that would be unacceptable for you to put up with. Read on to discover the top ten things that are a strict no-no for couples to ask of their significant others:
1. Overlook their furious outbursts
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Your partner may have had the worst day ever, but that doesn’t give them the right to take out their frustrations on you and then proceed to ignore their bad behavior. This can ultimately foster resentment and a sense of dread in your relationship.
2. Tell you to stop crying
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You must never be asked to not discuss your emotions. Asking someone to hold in their feelings builds up toxicity. If approached the right way, talking doesn’t have to sound like ‘nagging’.
3. Compare your parenting skills to another
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Being a parent is tough and if your partner is trying but failing at certain aspects of it, then be encouraging and kind. The worse thing to do in such a situation is shatter their confidence with statements like “You must try to be more like her” or “He wouldn’t ever do that.” Those are deal breakers.
4. Ignore insults from their family
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Your partner cannot ask you to simply ignore disrespect and rudeness from their friends or family. Relatives learn how to treat you by watching your partner, so if he or she lets them get away with mistreatment, it will continue.
5. Decide on your child’s religion
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If you and your partner happen to come from different religious backgrounds, your partner can never ask you to forgo your religion and raise your child to follow theirs instead. If this is a problem, the two of you must equally educate him or her about both your cultures, without putting each other down, until they are old enough to make their own spiritual decisions.
6. Ask you to quit your job
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You can never be asked by your partner to give up your financial independence if you’re unwilling. Such a move is only a ticking bomb waiting to go off in a relationship.
7. Minimize your accomplishments
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If your partner is struggling with insecurities about their worth, asking you to dim your sparkle so that they can shine more bright is a capital N-O. Getting you to become a downgraded version of you will only kill your relationship.
8. Get you to ditch your friends
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Your partner can never chose and pick your friends or worse, tell you to get rid of a friend simply because they don’t get along with them. They do have the right to point out if you’re in an unhealthy friendship, but that’s all.
9. Be the family go between
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You must never be asked by your partner to communicate on their behalf with relatives, friends or your kids if they happen to be in a conflict with them. Managing their relations is their own responsibility; by no means must you be dragged in the crossfire.
10. Be the bad cop parent
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Disciplining children is a 50-50 responsibility. If your partner is asking you to always be the strict parent and punish the kids while they’re idolized as the fun parent, then this is grossly unfair of them. Not only will this poison your personal relationship, but also damage the dynamics you share with your children.
If you or your partner is guilty of any of the above misdeeds, then beware you may be sowing seeds of resentment into your relationship without even realizing it.
Stop before they develop into full-blown weeds that smother your relationship. Always remember, just like every garden, every relationship needs constant nurturing, love and de-weeding!
