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There is a certain pattern that usually occurs in most marriages. After the honeymoon period of intimate love, parenthood follows after which children become the top priority. With factors like low sex drive and post-pregnancy health issues coming into the picture, couples eventually drift apart. While the right thing to do is to make continuous efforts to help tidy things up, there may come a time when one or both of you will be left with a feeling of being stuck in an unhappy marriage.
Now, let us consider certain facts. If couples go through this feeling due to a recent turn of events, like a huge fight, then the resentment is understandable. However, if a couple doesn’t seem to be interested in each other anymore; are constantly at loggerheads yet unable to pinpoint the exact reason for their unhappiness, then it is a cause for concern, especially, if not backed by strong reasoning.
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What is that brings such a drastic change in their feelings? Somewhere, are lifestyle stressors to be blamed for? Couples nowadays have access to that one thing that eventually replaces their interpersonal relationship – Social Media. Everywhere we look around, people are hooked on to it. The fact that all this is available at the touch of a button on a smartphone is a worrying trend. With a million updates being posted in a matter of seconds, couples can easily access all the sugar-candy stuff on social media, even on the move.
So, if you are one such couple who spends more time with the smartphone than each other; where social media statuses/updates decide the mood of the day, then it’s time to take stock of the situation. The addiction to this ongoing display of “picture perfect” relationships can have a devastating effect on your marriage. Whether it’s an exquisite ring someone has gifted his wife, expensive vacations, or lovey-dovey status messages, you will begin to subconsciously evaluate your own relationship on the basis of this overload of information.
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Social media creates a sort of societal pressure. It creates shallow benchmarks for a relationship. The stress of living up to this benchmark eventually takes its toll. For instance, as a husband, you may get the feeling that your wife is a nag and won’t enjoy spending time with her anymore. As a wife, on the other hand, you may start suspecting your husband’s fidelity. Once such negative feelings take root in your minds, it wreaks havoc, leading to the feeling of unhappiness.
If you are already battling such a phase in your marriage, then it’s important to understand that everything you read or see on social media is just a half-baked truth. No one gets to see the other, darker side of all the lovely pictures on the internet. You don’t really have to believe it, let alone base standards of your life on them.
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For once, let go of such illusions and start to look for happiness within. What is it that first made you fall in love with each other? Whether it’s the way you held hands, your compassion and care for each other, the sweet little house you’ve built or how well you’re managing to raise your little kids, these milestones will give you a sense of achievement in real terms. Picture yourself with your family, laughing and smiling, every time that sense of foreboding or unhappiness overcomes you. Give your social-media addiction a break and use that time instead for a fun ball game with your kids or bake some muffins which your kids love and you haven’t baked in a while. You’ll be surprised at the amount of satisfaction you’ll get every time you wash their soiled hands or wipe their chocolate-smeared mouths.
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Marriage is an institution which is built on a firm foundation of love, trust, reliability, and patience. It is a continuing journey where two people constantly grow together and their love goes from strength to strength with the passage of time. However, no journey is complete without a few hurdles here or a road bump there. Unless there is a real, serious cause for concern, your marriage will easily ride over such speed breakers.
