3 Major Similarities Between Working Moms And Stay-At-Home Moms: They’re Not That Different

Motherhood is often a tiresome and thankless job. It is overwhelming, stressful, and hard to keep track and provide for not just the needs of your baby but your entire family. Motherhood comes with many responsibilities and expectations, but so does your career. It seems like everywhere you go, everyone expects women to be on their A game. But where do you draw the line? Is giving up your professional life the only way you can be a good mother? Does being a stay-at-home mom mean that you are not capable of balancing the demands of adulthood?

The debate between being a working mom versus a stay-at-home mom has been going on for decades. While the society has no qualms about pitting the two against each other, are they really that different? After all, isn’t being a mom a full-time job in and of itself? Whether your tired feet are from running around all day in the office or running behind your toddler, all moms are exhausted. They face the same challenges and hurdles, the same ridicule for making choices based on what works for them and their families. And let’s not even start about the lack of nutrition and sleep both sets of mothers face.

Here are a few ways in which the experience of being a working mom and stay-at-mom mom are similar:

In This Article

1. Guilt And Shame

Guilt And Shame
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Parental guilt is real in every mother, especially because “mommy shaming” is so prominent in our society. Women are under a lot of pressure to be “good” mothers and everyone has their own opinions on how to attain this title. Whether it’s the decision to breastfeed or stop breastfeeding, or at what age you put your toddler into daycare, or if you have the help of a nanny – people love to talk about what you’re doing wrong. It’s hard to not feel inadequate when everyone around you is constantly highlighting your inadequacies. And this extends to the decisions you make for yourself. Are you going to stay at home? Will you go back to work? How soon? What about your baby? As if you haven’t mentally gone through every scenario a million times. It’s no wonder that all mothers feel guilty either for leaving the house, staying at home, or simply not doing enough. It’s easy to look at the other’s situation and think “you’re so lucky,” but no one’s situation is ideal.

2. Challenges On Either Side And Feeling Like A “ Bad Mom”

Challenges On Either Side And Feeling Like A “ Bad Mom”
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Image: Shutterstock

Going to work may enable you to have more flexible days, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t feel anxious and sad. Feeling like you should be with your kids and like you’re missing out on bonding time and cuddle sessions when you should be focused on what’s going on in the boardroom means you’re not present at work. Unfortunately, this theme doesn’t stop for working moms when they get home. Keeping track of what to prepare for meetings while with your child leaves you feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. This back and forth of always feeling like you’re in the wrong place can be draining and is the furthest thing from a dream. However, your challenges don’t stop simply because you’ve stopped working. Sure, you have more time with the baby, but now there’s an overload of diaper time and feeding time. Not to mention feeling alone and trapped in your own home. Either way, you lose out on sleep and peace of mind.

3. Amplified Exhaustion

This one’s a no-brainer! All mothers are tired after a long day, irrespective of if the majority was spent at home or in an office. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, chances are you’re even more exhausted as you feel the need to do everything by yourself. This includes taking the night shift too. While your partner sleeps so that they can wake up for work, you’re left to tend to your baby all night long. And you may come to envy their freedom and flexibility. Working moms may enlist the help of others, but juggling the growing demands of work and motherhood can leave them feeling strained as well. Not to mention the envy they must feel for not having the free time and leisure to do fun activities and spend time with their little ones.

So, here’s the bottom line. Irrespective of what kind of mom you choose to be, it’s important to keep in mind that you’re not alone. Your struggles and feelings of doubt are valid. Every mother wonders if they are doing the right thing. And, oftentimes, they feel like they are not doing enough. This is universal and normal. So, the next time you’re hard on yourself, know that the decisions you make are hard and that you’re doing your best for the benefit of your family. And that will always be good enough.

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