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Bidding good-bye is perhaps one of the hardest things for people, more so for babies when they have to separate from their moms.
Every time I had to leave my baby, the experience was laden with a guilt trip, lump in my throat, and heavy sobbing in private. When I left my son for the first time, he cried for a week before he settled down in the day care environment. There was a time when my son wouldn’t let me go even to the washroom, crying as if I was leaving him forever.
Such a thing is normal in babies as they go through what is called as separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is a developmental stage wherein the child gets anxious when separated from the mother or the primary caretaker.
So, is there a way to wade through those bye-byes without a painful heart? Yes, you can! Here’s how you can ease the separation:
- Prepare your baby: Practice the ritual of separation even before he starts going to nursery. Leave him with a babysitter, caretaker, or grandma and stay away for a while. So that when it’s actually time for you to leave him and go to work, he is fairly prepared for what’s to come. The more you practice this, the sooner it becomes a habit.
- Don’t cry before your baby: This is not even the last thing you should do. As hard as it may sound, don’t cry in front of your baby. You could save your ‘cry-your-heart-out’ episodes for later. So gather yourself and keep your calm. Show your warmth, reassurance, and love in your eyes instead of guilt. Show him that you are there for him always and it’s just a matter of few hours that you will be away.
- Don’t pamper him every time he cries: Each time your baby cries, don’t cajole him and hug him. Give him some time to deal with the separation himself. He might even stop crying when you don’t interfere. Park your motherly instincts for a while and stay strong and firm.
- Consistency is the key: While you are preparing your baby for a separation, be consistent at it without taking breaks. A regular routine can help him settle down faster and make him independent. Breaks can hamper the routine, which means you need to start from scratch to set the routine all over again.
- Stand on your words: If you promise your baby something after you come back, make sure you keep up the promise. He will trust you if you do so and is more likely to be at peace when he leaves you. That will also make him more independent and confident in his abilities to stay without you.
- Talk to your baby: Before it’s time for you to join back in work, speak your heart out to him. Let your baby know that he has to be with a babysitter or go to a day care and stay there without you. Don’t think that babies hardly understand anything. The fact is that they do. After all, they have been in your womb for nine months and they understand your every single move. They might not be able to express like adults, but they sure get your intention when they look into the mother’s eyes.
As they say, parenting is a series of trial-and-errors. So go ahead, try your tricks and make those adieus less difficult. Whatever the experience, the effort that goes into it makes it all worthwhile. Motherhood is a beautiful journey that makes you smile when you look back.
Do you have any good-bye stories to share with our fellow mothers? Bring them on! We’d love to hear!
