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Have you ever wondered what your baby sees when they look in the mirror? The way your baby looks at themselves in the mirror is an indicator of the development of their self awareness over the course of time, which can sometimes be a long and strange journey. Self awareness comes in stages. Your baby may not always comprehend that the person in the mirror is them. They might think that their reflection is a sticker or a person who looks exactly like them. But at some point, we all develop a fundamental sense of self and so will your child. However, there are a complex set of milestones to look forward to before your child and clearly see who they are.
Here are 5 stages of self awareness when your baby looks in the mirror:
1. Stage 1: The Baby In The Mirror
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This may seem funny and a little dangerous but the most primitive way of interacting with a mirror is slamming into it, face first. Now before you start giggling, just think about the last time a bee got trapped behind a window and desperately tried to get out. Fortunately, humans skip this stage entirely so you won’t have any of these accidents with your little one. Although babies are generally born in a state of confusion, they have an innate self awareness that can help them notice the difference between self and non-touch (mirror) self. They have a sense of their own body and can differentiate between their image and the background images in the mirror and between themselves and their immediate environment.
2. Stage 2: Manipulating The Mirror Image
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This is when the baby is not only able to differentiate between themselves and the environment, but is also able to gain a sense of how their body is situated relative to their environment. This happens roughly after your baby figures out how to manipulate their own body with response to their environment, after they reach 2 months of age (1). A good indicator that your baby is on the right track to this development is if your baby reaches for things. If they have learned to move around and grab at the things they are curious about, they know how to coordinate their movements.
3. Stage 3: Basic Self Awareness
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Upon reaching 18 months of age, your baby will get a grapple of basic self awareness. But what does this entail? This is when the baby passes the first mirror test. Between the ages of 18 months to 2 years, children learn that the image in the mirror is themselves, that is, they learn to identify themselves. You can usually see kids at this age pointing at themselves in the mirror and commenting on a specific mark on their body or an accessory they are wearing (2).
4. Stage 4: The Ups And Downs Of Understanding Object Permanence
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The next few years are going to be developmentally awkward for your little one. You may find your 3 or 4 year old staring at their reflection wondering why the image is wearing their clothes. You can call this the “Me but not me dilemma”. Your toddler might recognise the image as themselves but may sometimes revert to seeing the image as some third party version of self. They still have trouble understanding how the image in the mirror is themselves. That is they are on the road to object permanence, which is understanding that objects and people can exist when you can and can’t see them (3).
5. Stage 5: The Dawn Of Self Consciousness
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This is when a light bulb finally goes off in your little one’s head. The last stage will hit your 4 or 5 year old like a ton of bricks and is also known as “meta self awareness”. At this age your child finally understands that the image that they see isn’t just them or them permanently but the “them” that everyone else sees. Different children respond to this discovery differently. Some of them might get mirror shy and might take to hiding their face now that they see what everyone else sees. While others won’t be able to stop staring at themselves. You have to admit, realizing what you look like for the first time can be quite unsettling and might give them their first existential crisis.
As your child develops and grows to see themselves in the mirror, their self awareness increases. So make sure to validate them at every stage. Teach them how to appreciate themselves and validate their experience of seeing their own image in the mirror. Your child will soon understand that there is a mirror and that the person in the mirror is them. This shocking revelation can be eased by some kind words and a positive reaction from your end. Happy parenting!
Kezia John
