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Nothing feels as heartbreaking as losing a baby. It can have a lasting emotional impact on you. And although working through that grief and pain takes time and effort, there are several ways in which parents try to overcome their loss. One such way is categorizing and labeling their experience. This helps people build their own community and turn to them in times of emotional support. Even if these parents have all had different experiences of loss, they are still able to come together and support one another. And this is why categorizing experiences under an umbrella term can sometimes be so powerful and helpful. And we’re sure you’ve come across a few well known ones like “rainbow baby” or “angel baby”. But today we’d like to discuss a lesser known one called “sunshine baby”. Read on to know more about it.
What Is A Sunshine Baby: Meaning And Significance
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A sunshine baby refers to an infant who was born before a pregnancy loss. This includes miscarriages, stillbirths or loss of the fetus during early pregnancy. A sunshine baby can also be a baby you had before you experienced any losses at all such as the challenges to conceive or the impending idea that a pregnancy could likely lead to a loss. But why are we calling them sunshine babies? It is likely that the term is used to describe the loss of this baby or potential baby as parents start to see the situation a little differently after their initial grief has passed. Sunshine is a well known symbol of optimism, virality and even health.
This could even represent the calm one feels before the storm or the contentment parents feel before the impending loss. But it can also represent hope for the parents who have gone through such a trying time. It’s common to feel intense negative emotions such as guilt and shame after the loss of your baby. But, it’s important to remember that your body is also capable of creating something that can give you immense joy and love. And that it’s okay to hope that you get pregnant again. Please keep in mind that your uterus has no memory, so it’s fairly possible that this may not be your last pregnancy.
What You Can Do To Deal With The Loss
1. Accept Your Feelings
This is easier said than done. But you must remind yourself that you are a human being and that it’s okay to experience all the emotions that you are feeling, even if they are conflicting. There are no right or wrong feelings when it comes to processing a great loss. Instead, make sure to take care of yourself. Be kind to your body and your mind as it has gone through a lot and you deserve to be patient with yourself. So be forgiving as you go through all these intense emotions. Many people try to avoid feelings like guilt or sadness, but it’s important to acknowledge them in order to let them go.
2. Talk About What Your Vision Of Pregnancy Was
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This may feel like torture, but many people find it therapeutic to voice out what could’ve been. So, if you’d like to talk about what you envisioned your pregnancy to be like, that’s a good sign. It’s important to uncover what your vision for pregnancy was. Some people say that talking about what they thought life as a parent would be like helped them get over the loss of their little one. Sharing these ideas and feelings is a way of releasing them. And it may help normalize your experience instead of the feeling of isolation that comes with not sharing these experiences. There is nothing wrong with still wondering what your child would’ve been like or what you would have been like as a parent even long after your loss.
3. Understand That Grief Is Nor Linear
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Sometimes parents who go through a loss often feel like they are stagnant when they are making progress and then suddenly feel a bout of grief all over again. But that’s absolutely normal. Grief unfortunately isn’t linear. This means that you don’t start off feeling bad and then gradually get better. Healing from a loss is a far messier and longer road than that. You’ll have good days and bad one’s. So you should expect some bumps on the road. Also keep in mind that everyone grieves in their own way. Sometimes people may not understand that they are saying something hurtful to you. So, try not to let it get to you and focus on your own healing instead.
Losing your baby can be devastating, but you are not alone. There’s a whole community and category of people who have had similar experiences who can support you and uplift you. So don’t be afraid to reach out and hope for a better future.
